Most men have this belief that women would like them to last for a really long time.
Especially inexperienced young men who have received most of their sex education by looking at porn. They see professional actors with porn-star bodies perform unrealistic fantasy sex – with a rock-hard penis – lasting for a very long time. It’s no surprise that for some men all these expectations can damage their confidence.
Unfortunately we are bombarded with society’s ideals of male sexuality in the media, which create unrealistic expectations of how a man should look like and perform in the bedroom. These advertisements prey on the insecurities of men who often have no sexual dysfunction at all.
One of my clients was a 19-year-old man who met a girl he really liked and wanted to make sure he would be a good lover. He’d had some flings with girls before, but he was worried that he only lasted for about 10 minutes. When I explained that the “average” ejaculation time is between three and seven minutes, he could hardly believe it. He thought it should be at least 20 minutes because some of his “mates” told him they could last for half an hour or more! He left my office with a confident, big smile on his face.
But some men come very quickly, sometimes they only last two minutes or less and suffer what’s called premature ejaculation (PE) a condition that about 30 per cent of the male population suffer from, at some time in their lives. Often it’s not physical but psychological – inexperience and worry can cause performance anxiety. When a man anticipates problems about his performance, it can become a self-fulfilling fear and it’s not unusual to also start losing erections – coming quickly is bad enough – losing an erection is terrifying.
Spicing up your sex life isn’t as hard as it might seem. (Post continues below.)