British actress Kate Winslet has said that her divorces have helped her children. This mother-of-three agrees, saying her husband leaving was the best thing that ever happened to her boys.
The author of this post is known to Mamamia but has chosen to remain anonymous.
When my husband left me it changed the course of our family. I was four weeks pregnant with our third son and another baby was the last thing he wanted. And though unexpected, my unborn baby – and his brothers – turned out to be the only thing that I wanted.
There were threats of divorce if I wouldn’t abort the baby.
I wouldn’t. We did.
As many divorces are, it was bitter. Caustic words. Desperate, nasty times. For the eight months until our son was born I cried every night and held the warm bodies of my boys wondering why our world had collapsed.
Our two other sons were both aged under four at the time – if you have been through divorce then you will know what I mean when I say that they were my only concern. Nothing else mattered.
But it might surprise you to hear that now, four years later, they are my least concern because the divorce was possibly one of the best things that happened to them. I don’t meant to be glib when I say that. It’s the truth.
The awful, terrible ocean of grief that washes over you when your marriage collapses is difficult to comprehend.Your future together, shattered. Simple plans are now complex matters of management. Your lifetime together, yet to be lived but already formed in your mind, no longer exists and what will replace it is unimaginable.
I grew up with happy parents, married parents. A busy father, a stay-at-home mother, an elder sister. It was stable and solid and I never doubted it for a second.
But what we have given our children is stability. What they have too is solid – it’s just a different type of family.
Many might think proposing the ‘benefits’ of divorce seems insolent. When British star Kate Winslet told Harper’s Bazaar UK this week that divorce was “good for her children” there were headlines and even feigned outrage from some areas of the media. But I can see where she is coming from.
39-year old Winslet, who has been divorced twice said that Mia, 14, her daughter from her marriage to Jim Threapleton, and Joe, 11, her son from when she was married to Sam Mendes learnt “how to struggle”.