If you’re divorced from a narcissist, you know that a narcissist can be a bit glitchy, or more glitchy around the holidays.
Why? Because they’re entitled to all the attention. How dare Santa or Jesus or gift-giving or even their own children take the spotlight off them?
MY ex was the glue that held our family together. Especially during the holidays. He LOVED the holidays because he could string lights on the house, bake cookies with the kids, chop down the tallest tree on the Christmas tree farm and receive all the kudos.
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He went out of his way to make our holidays exceptional. It wasn’t about wanting us to have a great holiday though, it was about him looking good during the holidays.
And wow, could he make himself look loving, caring, empathetic and full of the holiday spirit.
It was all an act that came to a stop once we divorced. Divorce forced him into having to embrace the needs of others. His children and their needs and my needs.
We needed him to follow holiday visitation schedules, behave himself at school holiday pageants and act as if he cared about the feelings of others. That didn’t go over well.
The first Christmas after we divorced, he figured out a way to dodge the “giving” spirit and remain the centre of attention. He flew to his parents' home. A home he hadn’t visited in years or expressed an interest in visiting.
He had a GREAT Christmas.
His parents fawned over him, his siblings came from far and wide to spend time with him, he went out with old high school friends and even went to Christmas Eve church services with his mum so she could show him off.
He had promised the kids he’d call them Christmas day, but the call never came. He was so enthralled in all the attention he was getting that he forgot his kids on Christmas day.
His mother was so thrilled about “Johnny” putting lights on her house for the first time in decades. Good Lord!
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