Nobody knows heart pain quite like the mum who lays awake at 1am, wiping away tears she didn't know she still had left to cry.
Divorce is crippling at times.
Her journey has been one she wouldn't wish on anyone but yet also wouldn't change a thing.
Watch: Relationship deal breakers. Post continues below.
Divorce as amicable as it may be, brings out ugly in so many people and not just the ones married.
She's watched the fakest of friendships form at the sheer sadness of people enjoying gossip, enjoying someone else's pain and enjoying seeing someone when they are vulnerable.
She lost "friends" who "chose sides".
She's been judged, really, because she was the bigger person. Because she didn't let all the ugly out. She didn't share the real reasons because those were her cards to live with.
Sometimes she wonders had she been less "amicable" less eager to forgive and forget whether she wouldn't lay there feeling angry towards the fakeness, maybe she would have found peace in calling out the total bullshit that has been pitied on.
But that is ugly.
And as a mother, as someone who didn't fake a relationship or a friendship, she had respect enough for herself to walk past those judgmental looks, the whispers, she chooses to ignore the screenshots and the evidence of ugliness in others.