While losing weight as a couple is a great way to do it – you can provide one another support, encouragement and subtle nudges in the right direction – for one couple it went completely wrong when only one of them dropped kilos.
The husband went to Reddit in desperation for help as he doesn’t want to lose his wife of 12 years.
Jimboyt65 wrote: ‘We were both approaching 300lbs (136 kilos). As a couple we could barely walk the few steps from our car to our office. We didn’t vacation, we didn’t go for walks, we didn’t do anything but stare at our phones when we went out to eat. We ate takeout three meals a day and were pretty miserable. Our sex life was at first uncomfortable, and then essentially non-existent.”
It was the wife who suggested they lose weight together, but that is where the story takes a sad turn. “I just walked, downloaded a calorie counting app and made sure I never exceeded my daily calorie limit. Well slowly but surely, my weight started to come off. My wife on the other hand quit her gym and trainer after about a week.”
Rather than encouraging her husband, the wife turned on him for his success. "I lost about 10lbs (4.5 kilos) a month and after four months, it really began to show. It was at this point that she became intensely hostile towards me. She started making me sleep in the guest bed (she claimed it was because of my snoring). We communicated through email and texts and even those were hostile.
"She started posting things on Facebook about "losing the genetic lottery" when it came to weight and it was best that she just learn to love who she was. A favorite quote that became her Facebook backdrop was "change your world, not your body." When she was home she watched Netflix in her living room and we'd only talk to make Uber Eats plans."
The coldness culminated in the wife asking for a divorce. "She sent me a text that said: 'I'm sorry to do this to you, but I am deeply un-attracted to both your new body and your new attitude. I never thought you would remind me of my bullies but that's exactly what you've become. I'm contacting a divorce lawyer on Monday morning. [My brother and friend] will be by on Tuesday to get my things, please for our sake don't be there."
Listen: Do you have to love your body? Post continues after audio.
The husband insisted he wants to win back his wife, but Redditors aren't so sure he can. Not because of their weight issues, but because the communication in their relationship has all but evaporated.
One comment read: "They were sleeping separately and communicating electronically. I think he had an idea what was coming," while another stated: "The relationship was clearly headed this way as soon as they stopped talking."