kids

"The moment I realised I didn't like my daughter's best friend."

It’s every parent’s wish that their children make friends at school or kindy, that they’re not the ones who sit in the corner eating lunch alone.

But what happens when you don’t like the pal your child has chosen?

It’s the situation writer Jo Abi currently finds herself in.

“My daughter Caterina is seven years old and she’s little miss compliant. So she’s one of those girls who is a follower not a leader, and I look at her and go ”how did I have you?’,” she revealed on the latest episode of The Parent Code podcast.

Listen: What do you do when you don’t like your child’s friends? Post continues after audio.

“I mean I was a follower too because I had two older sisters, but she’s the only girl and I’ve got two boys.

“And I always sort of imagined that any daughter of mine was going to know her rights, be strong and stand up for herself but then she started school and it all changed.”

The problem lies with the friendship Caterina has established, which seems to have more drama than an episode of Days of Our Lives.

“My daughter last year had some very strong friendships, so she was told when she could have lunch, who she could play with, where she could stand to wait for people, and then she’d sort of get in trouble from this friend,” Abi recounted.

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"So she had this friend who she'd call BFF [best friends forever] and then she'd come home and be like 'Mum, we broke up'. And I'd be like 'What do you mean?" and she'd reply 'Well, we're not BFFs anymore'. Then the next day? 'We got back together'.

"And the way she was discussing it, it was like THE relationship. 'Where are all your other friends?' I thought."

It was then that Abi said she realised that this "first, strong school friendship" had taken over her whole life.

"It's not that I don't necessarily like this girl, she's a very strong girl and she's a lovely girl, but if my daughter had a group, she'd have different kinds of personalities to balance off the personalities," she said.

"So I have actively tried to encourage other friendships and I did it through play dates. Because I didn't want to discourage the strong friendship."

And don't even get us started on what happens when it's the parents you can't stand.

So, what did you or would you do in this situation? We'd love all the advice.

Listen to the full episode of The Parent Code with Jo Abi, navigating the problems of the schoolyard and all things tech.

You can buy all the books mentioned on our podcasts, from ibooks at apple.co/mamamia, where you can also subscribe to all our other shows in one place. 

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