See, when you fall in love, you aren’t necessarily wondering whether or not you’ll like your partner’s mother. At least you shouldn’t be. Yet, at some point, you will more than likely have a lot to do with this lady, so it’s always handy you know, if she’s not totally crazy.
And hey, you might get super lucky and have a great mother-in-law. I’m sure 8 times out of 10 (completely made up statistic), mothers-in-law are just tops. I for one hope that if my children get married one day, I’ll be helpful, open and not intrusive. But who knows, maybe by the time that happens I’ll be bored out of my mind and take pleasure in passive aggressively destroying their lives.
Very Important Disclaimer: I have a very generous and lovely MIL. One who lives 2,000kms away and doesn’t know how to use the internet.
So how does one identify a Monster in Law? They come in the following categories:
1. The one who thinks you are a shit mother
This one is easy to spot by her candid accusations. For instance, I have three children. One larger than she should be, one smaller than he should be and one that is in proportion for his age. My mother-in-law has accused me of over feeding one, under feeding the other and ‘obviously working out how cook healthy meals’ by the time the third one came along. Apparently she thinks I’m fucking Goldilocks.
This mother-in-law will also insinuate that you aren’t looking after your child correctly if they fail a subject, get a cold or generally just live under your roof. This is where you point out to her that her son parents these children as well. The son she raised. So, you know…
2. The ignorant racist and/or bigot
Look, generally this MIL is lovely enough, would do anything for you but jeez, can she waffle on about how all those New Zealanders are taking our jobs. OH, and don’t get her started on those “bloody boat people who are really just terrorists waiting to take over Australia”. Same sex marriage? Unnatural she’ll say.
Your attempts at gently explaining persecution and acceptance will go one of two ways. She will either hate you forever or you will simply learn to block her out when she starts spouting ignorant, uneducated views. Good luck.
Real Life Example: We adopted a baby girl from Korea and my MIL asked, “Couldn’t you get her eyes fixed?
3. The Critical Neat Freak.
Not the worst kind of mother-in-law you can end up with but she is certainly up there. You know the ones. Judging you and your dirty window tracks. Snidely making comments about how you “Mustn’t get much time to clean out the fridge being a working mother’. No. No I don’t. Because unlike you, I am more interested in spending the time that I do have with my children, playing with them, rather than following them around and dust-busting around their ankles as they walk.