Derby Day #drama for The Bachelor

“Excuse me? Are there any #dirtystreetpies in this marquee?”

Derby Day? I think you mean DRAMA DAY.

Blake, the Bachelor, turned up to Derby Day today. He didn’t bring Louise as his date. But he did the next obvious thing: he brought her dad, Terry, as his date.

That’s cool. Remember back when Bachie and Tezza had this hug after Bachie spilled a drink on him? Good times.

Except Sam was also invited to the same marquee.

Sam getting ready for Derby Day. Hopefully with waterproof mascara because #dramaattack

Which started out well, with Sam telling the Daily Mail that she was surprised that he was there, but she planned to say hello: “I haven’t said hello to him yet, I probably will later. I have no beef with him, and I do want to say hi but I just wasn’t expecting it.”

“I don’t want it to be weird when we see each other.” (nobody wants that)

When asked whether it would be weird if Blake had turned up with Louise, Sam said, “I think everyone wants to move on. We’ve all just sort of put it all behind us, I’m just trying to be positive.”

And everyone was positive. For a few minutes. Until #dramaattack.

Sam and Chantal pre #dramaattack

The Daily Telegraph is reporting that when Sam saw Blake, she cried and fled the marquee, with her pals in tow (They have a pic of everyone huddled around). Apparently she punctuated her departure with a solid, “I can’t handle this!”, which left everyone in no doubt.

It seems that Bachie’s brain no compute. He told The Tele that things had turned a corner.

“It’s great that everything is out there,” he said.

“I think all the girls are doing well now.”

Um. No. Probably not. No.

Apparently the Bach has a double ticket to the GH Mumm birdcage marquee for Cup Day on Tuesday. Our money is on more #drama.

Jessica. She’s very nice. How thoughtless.

In other Bachie news, Bachelorette Jessica told OK Magazine that she has no thoughts whatsoever about the Bach dumping Sam and hooking up with Louise. None.

“No thoughts,” she said, adding: “I was raised not to gossip or speculate on others lives. It’s their business.”

Holy shit, Jess. Why even are you talking?

But it’s ok because Jessica also appears to have swallowed one of those mindfulness-waterfall-zen-sand-garden books that your mum buys you for Christmas: “All things happen for a reason, you just need to be honest and true to yourself.”

Kind? Reflective? Thoughtful? Optimistic? GET OUT OF MY INTERNET, YOU VILE SHE-BEAST!