Q. Why do women delay starting a family?
A. Because they want to buy more shoes.
This is the conclusion drawn by commentators on a recent study into why women are putting off having children.
The study, conducted by British Pregnancy Advisory Service (Britain’s leading abortion and sexual health clinic service), found four main reasons why woman delay their fertility.
- Being in the right relationship (82 per cent)
- Financial security (77 per cent)
- Fear of not being the perfect mother (71.3 per cent)
- Owning their own home (40 per cent)
Commentors reacting the study criticised women for being shallow and, of course, warned that they shouldn’t complain when they can’t get pregnant later.
Call me a party-pooper, but the responses of women in that survey seem like smart and reasonable answers.
Finding a long term partner is not like being on the hunt for the ideal dishwasher. It's an inexact search subject to the whims of timing, geography, luck, state-of-mind, persistence, meddling friends ... and did we say luck?
Finance, well this is critical to any human being. Women aren't saying they are delaying starting a family to become multi-millionaires, they are saying they need to feel financially secure. This kind of literacy is vital. It gives a woman power and choice. Should women pretend they don't need to concern themselves with their bank balances and instead wait around for Prince Charming to swoop in, save them and buy them a black Range Rover and new boobs?
The expectation of perfection in everything - in bed, the kitchen, looks, the workplace, and of course as a mother is like the air we breath - it's all around us, but we just can't point at it and say, "there it is" (and that makes some say "there's no pressure to be perfect, where's this pressure?"). It's not fair and not right but it's a modern day social and cultural reality. The survey participants are simply reflecting real life. It's called answering a question honestly.