Perhaps I too was like you… curious to make sense of how a life so full of potential ends so unexpectedly.
But now that I’ve been widowed for 5+ years, I know the “how” doesn’t matter. Not to me, and not to anyone who has experienced a devastating loss.
If it came from a legitimate place of concern then we’d be less bothered. But often, it’s asked with little to no sympathy or empathy—just a morbid fascination in wanting to know how someone died. I see it all the time.
A high school classmate shares a post announcing the passing of a parent only to be greeted with “How did she pass?” Unless you – random acquaintance who probably have never taken the time to even ask how’s she’s holding up – are asking because you’re wondering if her parent’s death is a result of a zombie apocalypse that you might have missed while you were busy scanning for R.I.P. posts on social media, then it’s not appropriate.
You don’t have the right to ask for details of someone’s death. So it was cancer…now what? They died in an accident…how does this affect YOU?
There is no joy in us having to replay one of the most devastating times in our lives. And, to be honest, unless someone loses their life as a result of saving someone’s or defending their nation’s freedoms, the life that has been taken much too soon isn’t defined by this singular event.