real life

Dear World. This is how not to propose. Sincerely, This Guy.

It was not a Happy Meal.

It started off like any normal date.

Youtuber Joseph Ann picked up his girlfriend in his car and took her to McDonalds drive thru for a Crispy Chicken Deluxe meal with a Diet Coke.

(What’s that you say? That’s not a normal date? Are you sure? Am I doing this wrong?)

It was, in fact, the same McDonalds where the pair had their first date two years ago.

Cute, right? They both get a burger and then they go home to have anniversary sex but they can’t because the trans fat and additives are chugging around uncomfortably inside their stomachs? (Still just me?) It’s the ultimate two-year anniversary idea, right?

WRONG.

Because then Joseph proposed to his girlfriend with a ring stuck inside a Crispy Chicken Deluxe burger.

Just like opening a box from Tiffany’s! Except… you know… way worse.

Quick note to Joseph: Literally nobody in the world wants to be proposed to with a ring stuck inside a burger while they’re wearing trackies in their boyfriend’s smelly car at a McDonalds drive thru.

Joseph’s girlfriend cannot even speak. She is struck dumb. She giggles, because everyone know giggling is what women do when they’re outrageously uncomfortable with a situation.

“You’re not serious?” She asks him. (Subtext: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?)

Joseph doesn’t get the hint. He smiles a cool guy smile like: Yeah, I knew you’d think this was awesome.

“This is not what you do! This is not what you do!” His girlfriend repeats, kind of crying now.

Joseph very slowly starts to get the hint. Wait, was this not what she wanted?

“Say something!” He insists, totally disregarding the fact that she has already said “you’re not serious” and “this is not what you do” many times, and is also crying. (Joseph – not the sharpest tool in the shed.)

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Then – then – he takes the ring out of the burger and tries to put it on her hand while she’s crying ‘no, no, no’. (Note to Joseph: No means no).

Just think about this for a second: What if the ring had mayonnaise on it? DID JOSEPH EVEN CONSIDER THAT?

“THERE’S BIG MAC SAUCE ON MY ENGAGEMENT RING!”

Then his girlfriend starts sobbing.

Joseph – and to be honest, I’m pretty fucking done with Joseph at this point, so I can’t imagine how the girl he just proposed to with a chicken burger feels – says “Babe, what’s wrong?”

“I mean, I thought it was a surprise,” he says.

Throwing her off a balcony would also be a surprise, Joseph. Surprises are not ALWAYS GOOD.

She tells him she can’t marry him, but he still doesn’t get it.

“What do you mean, you can’t marry me?”

JOSEPH: SHE NO LIKEY THE PROPOSAL.

“Is that happy crying? Babe?”

“I mean, everyone was involved!” Joseph insists, gesturing at the drive thru employees. Good point, Joseph! Now she likes this proposal even less because all the people who work here knew about it and felt sorry for her!

“I even called your dad! Everyone knew about this!”

JOSEPH: U MAKE IT WORSE.

“Babe, I set up a hidden camera and everything!”

At this point, Joseph’s (maybe not anymore) girlfriend sees the camera and dies.

Not really. That was just Joseph’s chance of getting laid tonight and also ever again.

You can watch the video for yourself here. But I warn you: it’s horrifically awkward. 

Read more on proposals that could have been, ahem, slightly better thought out: 

A photo of a proposal at a wedding has been labelled the ‘dickest of all dick moves’.

Man proposes. It goes wrong. Like, house-destroying wrong.

He spent $85,000 on the proposal. She still said no.

If you propose on a wobbly boat, you can’t be surprised when this happens.

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