real life

"Putting on a pair of 'trackies' helped me through the grief of pregnancy loss."

Everybody needs a pair of trackies in their wardrobe and this is why.

I’ve just come out of an emotional two weeks where I was told the pregnancy I was carrying was no longer viable.

It started with what was supposed to be a routine scan to see the heartbeat and check the baby was growing. However, this eight-week pregnancy scan said otherwise and I was told it was “inconclusive” about the viability of the pregnancy and had to wait another week to determine if the pregnancy was going to stick.

The lovely practitioner did not hold much hope as, in their words, at eight weeks “we would expect to see something”.

With that news, I was booked in for another scan 10 days later to confirm the viability of my pregnancy.

Watch: A tribute to the babies we’ve lost. (Post continues after video.)

So for 10 days I was feeling anxious, hopeful, sad and pessimistic and on the verge of tears every day. Despite this I continued to live by my mantra of ‘Put your best version of yourself out there every day’, because as a wardrobe cleanser and personal stylist that’s what I help people do.

I struggled! While I put on clothes that made me feel good, I felt equally as uncomfortable because I was in turmoil on the inside and I could not express this outwardly. It was suffocating.

On day 10 when I went for my scan I “put my best foot forward” again, and was delivered the expected but devastating news that I my pregnancy was not viable. I was booked in for a “procedure” the next day.

"My trackies are my life line for times when things are not OK." Image supplied.
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This is when I caved and put on my trackies. I didn't care that I was wearing my trackies in public. I wanted comfort. I wanted a hug. I wanted to let go all the sadness that I had bottled up inside for 10 days. I wanted to grieve. My trackies serve this purpose.

My trackies are my lifeline for times when things are not OK, or when I just need the comfort of "down time" and need to feel anonymous. They are also there to enjoy precious moments like snuggling up in winter with my husband, little boy and cats or watching a chick flick on the couch with my bestie when we need each other.

There is always a place for comfort clothes in your wardrobe and if you are going through a moment, put them on and who cares what the world sees. When you are ready to emerge and put your best forward again, you'll feel and look even better.

Mamamia Pregnancy Loss Awareness Week

You can download Never Forgotten: Stories of love, loss and healing after miscarriage, stillbirth, and neonatal death for free here.

Join the community of women, men and families who have lost a child in our private Facebook group.

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