There are few guarantees in life. Death. Taxes. And Days of Our Lives.
This week marks the 55th anniversary (yes, 55 years!) of the iconic show, and it's got us feeling nostalgic.
Days of Our Lives (or Days or DOOL, to true fans) has given television audiences some of the most wonderful(ly ridiculous) plotlines ever committed to film.
So in honour of this momentous anniversary, let’s take a look back at them, shall we? In no particular order...
When Bo and Billie found Greta von Amberg, she lived in a New Orleans swamp. She was dirty, heavily scarred, and slept in a cave. Until… makeover! A shower, a bit of a trim, some experimental laser surgery, et voila.
Swamp Girl Greta was actually a Princess: the daughter of notorious con artist, Princess Gina. But to claim her royal title, Swamp Girl Greta had
to overcome a virtual Garden of Eden, where she faced obstacles including her mother, Witch Sami, and Satan. Yeah. That guy.
Oh, speaking of…
When Marlena was possessed by the devil.
Depending on who you ask, this is either the best storyline to ever appear on daytime television, or the dumbest.
In 1995, Marlena Evans was given mind-altering drugs by Salem’s arch-villain Stefano DiMera, which came with the unfortunate side effect of leaving her open to demonic possession. She had all the classic symptoms: speaking in tongues, yellow eyes that can shoot laser beams, arsonist tendencies, ability to levitate AND morph into a jaguar.
Thankfully, her on-again-off-again husband, John Black, who happened to be a priest at the time, was able to perform an exorcism. Phewph!
Oh, and also when she killed an entire town. But not really.
Look, the early 2000s wasn’t the best time for Days, ratings-ways. And we all know what that means in soap land: desperate, ridiculous plotlines. Hooray!
Enter the Salem Stalker. Residents of Salem started being serially snuffed by a cloaked figure — some were bludgeoned to death with bricks and wine bottles, others… well, Cassie Brady fall out of a Halloween piñata with stab wounds, Tony DiMera was mauled by a liberated circus tiger, and Alice Horton choked after having her world-famous donuts stuffed into her mouth.
In a spectacular, ratings-recouping reveal, the serial killer was unmasked as Marlena, who was arrested, then shot dead on the roof of a prison.
Then, well, viewers tuned out again, and so PLOT TWIST. (Stick with me.) The entire town is alive on a tropical island called Melaswen (New Salem, spelled backwards), having been kidnapped by a bloke called Andre, who had replaced them with doppelgängers so he could brainwash Marlena into thinking she was a serial killer.