David Hasselhoff was the name on the tip of everyone’s tongue during the 80s and early 90s.
But we are very sad to announce that as of today: David Hasselhoff is no more.
No, he’s not dead (Germany would be plunged into mourning and the Euro might never recover).
Hasselhoff has dropped the Hassel from his name. His name is now officially Hoff, David Hoff.
Not David The Hoff. Just plain ole “David Hoff”.
The man made famous by TV shows like Baywatch and Knightrider, a few hit pop songs in West Berlin and a 3am stint rolling around drunk on his kitchen floor eating a cheeseburger, has officially rid his driver’s licence of the hassle of Hassel.
Here he is telling the world:
Now it’s possible that this is all a stunt (gasp!) from Hoff (A few hours after he made his video announcement, a rep for Hasselhoff told the New York Post, “It’s an excerpt from an ad campaign that launches in Australia this weekend. David is just having some fun and more will be revealed in the next 24 hours.”)
But as long time Hoff fans, it’s incumbent on us to take him at his word.
If he has, as he has said, changed his name to Hoff, we’re not entirely sure he’s thought this thing through. Sure, he said, ““I’ve been wanting to drop the Hassel from my life for years. Now I have made it official.”
But what about all of those people who bought those tshirts that said: Don’t Hassel The Hoff? That entire joke makes no sense if his name isn’t Hasselhoff.
You’ve got to feel bad for this guy:
And what about everyone who bought this card?
And spare a thought for this poor, poor soul:
But this guy who got Hoff tattooed on his bum obviously has nothing to fear from Hoff's name change, and clearly no regrets:
He even got Hoff's imprimatur:
[We note here that Hoff is going to have to change his Twitter handle, as well as his passport, bank details, driver's licence, signature, and those personalised stickers you put on the back of Christmas cards...]
Obviously, Hoff is more than entitled to change his name. And we're sure that all of the Hoff families around the world will be pleased to welcome him to the fold (a quick check of Ancestry.com revealed two things: 1. There are plenty of Hoffs around, and 2. Hoff is derived from northern German, Dutch and Danish, and means 'farmer').
Farewell, David Hasselhoff. You will be missed.