I hate to admit it, but I’ve always had a “type”. Countless times, I’ve fallen for dark-haired guys who are a little bit rock’n’roll, somewhat sensitive and very, very tortured. Kind of like a Michael Hutchence-Jon Snow dream combination.
So what was I doing with a giant crush on sporty, cheerful Nate*?
Seeing as my last relationship with a formerly drug-addicted, post-rehab philosophy student had ended, I was thinking that maybe my “tortured artist” type wasn’t working out for me.
It was time to think outside the dating box.
This is where Nate came in. He was as far from my "type" as possible. He was a blonde courier whose main interest was being physically fit. That was about it. Sure, he was nice and funny, but certainly not the cultured intellectual I was used to. There was no way he was going to visit the art gallery with me, for example.
To be totally honest, the main reason why I was interested in Nate was because I'd happened to see him with his shirt off, and he had a six pack. The rest of him was muscly, too. I decided that, for once, I would follow my other instincts and date a guy mostly because he had a "good" body, and because I was physically attracted to him. Maybe cerebral connections were overrated.
Again, Nate was a likeable guy, so dating him wasn't difficult. But for me, my main interest in him stemmed from his buff body.
Dr Nikki Goldstein on the relationship question she gets asked the most. (Post continues after video.)
Looking back, it's absurd that I was with him at all. I didn't find his face to be particularly handsome, and we had few things in common - whether it was hobbies or political beliefs, we were different and even opposed.
I suspected that I was also an exercise in "out of the box" dating for Nate. I wasn't like any of the athletic, skinny, younger party girls he usually courted. If anything, I was that female version of the dark, rock'n'roll-obsessed artist that I usually fancied. We were each fascinated in our obvious differences, and appreciated them. I liked his carefree, fun-loving nature, and he seemed to find me interesting and cultured.