I have never dated someone who didn’t go to university.
This is a strange fact, considering there are plenty of people who would never even have considered attending university. Yet for me, most of the people I’ve dated I have met through school - at parties, in classes, through mutual friends.
Typically, we’d share a similar socioeconomic upbringing. With it came certain topics of conversation, accepted social norms, and generally the same level of academic intelligence that can come with higher education.
It’s not that I was avoiding men who didn’t get a degree, I just didn’t necessarily find myself in a circle of people who hadn’t.
This changed when I met Scott on a dating app.
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I never use dating apps. This was the first time I had ever actually met someone from using one. In truth, I downloaded it because I wanted to get laid.
Plain, simple, and seemingly uncomplicated.
When I matched with Scott, I didn’t find him especially attractive by his pictures. He slid right into my match queue, and I forgot about him for a while. When I went on an unfruitful date a day later, I was scrolling through my previous matches in hopes of something a little more promising. That’s when I reached out to Scott.
From the beginning, I was very clear about my intentions. I just wanted sex - steady sex maybe, but only sex.
The first time I met him, he pulled up at my friend’s house in a large truck. His engine was so loud I heard him around the corner of the block from inside the house. His hands were dirty from his job as a tradesman. His voice was deep, and he had a slight twang.
The first difference I noticed was small - it was the way we talked about restaurants. He went to certain restaurants based on the deals they had. Essentially, what restaurants were the cheapest. This isn’t to say that people in any social class don’t do this, but it was one of the first things I noticed. I go to restaurants because I like the food, regardless of how expensive it is. He goes to restaurants when it’s cheap.
The second thing I noticed was the way he talked about money in general. Money, for him and his family, has always been this painfully finite resource that their entire lives were structured around. This is true for millions of people.