It was a match made in Aussie IRL heaven.

A dashing doctor I met through a friend at a pub.

We were crazy about each other and there was no doubt in my mind this was end-game.

So, it was a real shock when the cracks began to show almost a year in.

Watch: The dating experience women keep having. Post continues below.

Things weren't adding up. Money would appear one minute, vanish the next. The drinking got heavier, his mood more erratic, and it turned out this dashing doctor wasn't all that dashing, and it was doubtful he was even a doctor.

From an odd-looking 'doctor's bag' to no real shift-pattern to an unwillingness to help with medical matters, there was enough suspicion to raise more than an eyebrow.

I felt so confused. Why would the man I love so much be lying about this?

Him being a doctor was actually the least interesting thing about him. My questions to him were not only shut down, my words were twisted and thrown back at me.

I never saw proof of him being a doctor. No record at the university. No record at the hospital. The payslip I asked him to provide as proof of employment; I later found under the lid of my printer — a cobbled-together sticky-tape and liquid-paper arts and craft job.

His explanation was that he was in witness protection and worked for a national intelligence agency.

As you can imagine, that really cleared things up for me…

You can laugh. It is funny. What's funnier is I believed him and I stood by him and I got to a point where I didn't care who he was or what he did, or even if he was truthful about it — because I loved him and wanted to be with him. 

Family members weren't quite so sympathetic. They were like bulls to a red flag and were determined to end the relationship.

I was drowning in relentless texts and calls telling me how stupid I was to stay.

How can you not see this? What's wrong with you?

So, I did what any love-blind woman in my situation would do: told my family we broke up…and continued to date him in secret.

For six months I lived a double life.

By day, I was a journalist. My job was to ask questions, get the facts and tell the truth.

By night, I was avoiding questions, ignoring facts and living in a version of reality I knew — deep down — wasn't quite right.

I became the keeper of lies. I couldn't keep track of them and felt so ashamed of the whole thing. Telling your mum you're pottering around Woollies while in a bubble bath on a romantic getaway is a form of torture for a truth-teller like myself.

I'd look at him across the room and tell myself, This is love. This is worth it. Love means standing by someone no matter what.

But the lies were eating me alive and eventually, I couldn't take it anymore.

So I decided to come clean.

I wrote an email to my family explaining that I was still seeing him and planned to continue.

I hit send. And braced.

I knew that email would hit like a bomb… and my family absolutely lost it.

But it was a price I was willing to pay.

They'll come around.

"We're free. We can be together finally!!" I fawned to him like a puppy.

And that's when my own bomb dropped, right in the middle of the living room, he responded with something diabolical: "I don't love you anyway."

Those five words threw me into utter devastation.

I had just blasted a chasm between myself and every single person in the world who I cared about.

Let's step back. This was a very long time ago. Honestly, get over it, right?

But the beauty of hindsight is real, and now I realise that moment was a mirror.

It wasn't him who didn't love me. It was me who didn't love me.

I'd told my family the objective truth of the situation, but I was still lying to myself. I was with him, but didn't truly believe I was meant to be.

Speaking THE truth was different to speaking MY truth.

All these years later, I can see how that painful truth was really the one that set me free. And I'm grateful.

As a voice and speaking coach, I serve my clients from this place of depth. I'm not just about surface-level speaking tips. I know first-hand what it means to find your voice and speak your truth.

Brene Brown, in one of my favourite quotes of all time, said: "Shame cannot survive the spoken word. It cannot tolerate having words wrapped around it."

That's why we need to talk about our experiences.

As women, we heal through witnessing stories, and a common response to this one was — "Something like that happened to me too. Thank you for sharing."

And sorry to break it to you — I never got to the bottom of who he is or what he does or why he lied.

I totally get that the lack of resolution is frustrating from the outside.

But from the inside, I got the closure I needed and a hell of a life lesson that guides me every day.

No matter what you've been through, who you've loved, or the choices you've made…

True breakthroughs don't come from someone else telling you the truth.

They come from you being willing to hear your own.

Listen: In this episode of Everyone Has An Ex, a story about the intoxicating power of connection and the red flags we choose to ignore when we think we've found "The One."

Sally Prosser is a voice and communication advisor, TEDx speaker, author of Voiceprint, and host of That Voice Podcast. Connect with Sally @sallyprosservoice

Feature Image: Supplied.