Now I’m in my 30s I get a lot more accusatory questions and unsolicited advice from friends about my (lack of) love life.
“Have you considered lowering your standards?” I’ve been asked.
“Your problem is you’re too picky,” someone else will offer.
“Just go on Tinder,” is the current most popular advice.
But no, I have no plans to “lower my standards”, and although I sometimes go on a swipe frenzy (or my friends do on my behalf), I barely ever actually talk to anyone on Tinder because I am paralysed with fear.
Not fear that I will like them, or embarrass myself. Fear that I will have to go on a terrible date with a person I’m not attracted to and then pretend that I might call them, all because online dating is a vague and bizarre ocean filled with many unsuitable fish.
What do I mean? Well, basically I have one unbreakable rule. If your politics sit somewhere to the right of modern Labor, you are most definitely not my type.
In particular, if you’re anti-choice there is no chance you’re getting anywhere near me.
You could be Henry Cavill’s identical twin brother, but if you told me Donald Trump is your preferred next president of the United States, I would not hesitate to stand you up.
And on the internet there’s no easy way to ask someone what they think about the Government’s stance on asylum seekers, or the cuts to universal health care, before you decide to go for a drink with him.
It’s too hard, and it kind of seems rude. If you met someone in a bar you could bring the conversation round to a political issue and see what they say.
There’s no tone online. Everything seems like a test. For the most part I see apps like Tinder as a lot of conflict and complication I just don’t need in my life.
Which is why the news that Bumble, one of those dating apps hoping to wrest the crown from Tinder, has released political filters actually fills my heart with joy.
“Political views are more than just current topics, sometimes entire value sets can be tied to political views. It tells you a lot about a person,” Whitney Wolfe, creator and CEO of Bumble, told Mashable.
“Think of it as digital bumper sticker.”
They are very US-centric filters (there’s Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, Ted Cruz and, of course, The Donald) but the idea is something I am absolutely on board with.
Because Wolfe is right. What someone thinks about various political issues is often a pretty good gauge the things they might think, do or feel. And absolutely, that would inform their relationships.
I will never change my name, but a conservative man is more likely to want me to. Not a fight I’m interested in having.
If I have them, I don’t want to send my kids to a private school. Again, it’s a generalisation – but private schools produce a lot of conservative people who want to send their children to their beloved alma mater.
Cliches single girls are sick of hearing (post continues after video):
And, most obviously, conservatives are more likely to be anti-abortion. As in they will expect you to sleep with them, but they don’t respect your right to decide what happens to your own body. No thanks, that’s just not an argument I ever want to have to have.
My political beliefs are closely held and fiercely important.
I want to date someone who shares my values, because I don’t want to fight them every day. I like a good debate, I like to be challenged, I like to be forced to consider the angles – but ultimately, I want to come home at the end of the day and share a glass of wine with someone who gets me.
Is that such a bad thing?