If you’re dating after a divorce, then firstly: well done.
You’ve survived and you’re out the other side…hurrah! You’ve probably dumped a completely unsuitable douche bag to get here and for that you deserve a gold star (probably two).
You may have already started swimming in the dating pool and therefore you know how hard it is.
So after many conversations with my friends who are also dating I’ve prepared this not very comprehensive guide with some tips and tricks to survive and thrive in a whole other kind of D-Town… dating!
You’ll need these things in your dating artillery…
1. The Bestie
She’ll tell you how it really is, because quite frankly she doesn’t want to sleep with him and therefore hasn’t got the D on the brain. Also because she has a healthy self esteem she thinks they’re all hot for her anyway and you’re the second choice. Thank God Nic married young…
PS: It’s true.
PPS: Nic totally did not write this.
2. The Gay BF
If you’re anything like me, you’re out with them A LOT! They’re handsome, gregarious and charming, the perfect date… except they’re not your date and you need single men to know that, for both your sakes.
Maybe paint it in lipstick on their foreheads? Make them kiss other boys in front of the object of your affection? Either way the Gay BF is a very important tool in dating land. Not to mention they’re super honest and fucking great fun!
This is self explanatory: what’s wrong with you?
4. Other single ladies to go on the hunt with
It’s more fun with friends, but make sure you keep the group tight. My single male friends tell me that big packs of women on the hunt scare the shit out of them.
5. An iPhone to be on Tinder on the regs
You can be on Tinder any old time. In your PJs on the sofa, on the train, waiting in line at the post office.
What’s not to love about this app? Sure, you have to sort through all the weird pictures of men holding fish and the hilarious pics of guys who have clearly cropped their ex out of the picture…but every now and then you’ll meet an absolute gem. Get on board, because why not?!
Here are some types of men you might encounter in dating land...
1. The Player
He’s always smokin’ hot, he’s never going to marry you or actually even date you, but he’ll make you feel like a million bucks… offer valid for one night only! Chances are other men don’t like him, but he’s a seriously good ego boost and it doesn’t matter what anyone says, you’re probably going to go there anyway.
2. The Player in Disguise
It starts off just like it should: he says and does all the right things. And then, just as you start to think you have a BF he goes MIA and needs some “space”… urgh. I know for a fact this one happens to guys too. Basic rule: this one’s a Flake. If you feel like one of those, eat a chocolate bar.
Are you even from Australia if you haven’t dated a FIFO?! (That stands for a Fly In Fly Out worker who is employed offshore or in a remote community in the middle of nowhere for the uninitiated). They’re the best of both worlds; you get time to yourself when they’re away and lots of attention when they’re home.
Plus, there’s nothing hotter than a man that can fix things. You don’t need to call a tradie, you’ve got a tradie. Also ladies, the cliché is true…they really are good with their hands!
LISTEN: Mamamia Out Loud unpack the 36 questions you need to ask to fall in love (post continues after audio..)
4. Married Men
Like it or not, it happens. I’ve been hit on by more married men than any other kind while I’ve been single. No matter how attractive he is please remember the Sisterhood. A simple: “does your wife know you’re single?” will often suffice.
5. The Nice Guy
You might have known this guy for ages and just thought he was “too nice” or “not your type” so therefore you’ve overlooked him for a whole load of other unsuitable douche bags. When you finally work it out, Mr Nice Guy might still be free. Let's hope so, for your sake!
This is an extract from Welcome to D-Town by Beverly Ligman. You can buy the eBook ($12.99 + postage) or hardcopy ($17.90 + postage) here.