real life

Here's what you might not know about dating a twin.

This week, Ruby Rose tread into some very dangerous territory.

Following the results of the same-sex marriage postal survey, Rose tweeted to her 1.3 million-odd followers, “So glad to see Lisa Origliasso screaming in excitement about the yes vote after telling us she thinks we should feel ‘lucky’ we don’t get stoned to death like they do in other countries and to get over it a few months ago. Really warms my heart,” followed by an eye-roll emoji.

Look, I don’t want to go making assumptions here, but I think maybe it didn’t actually warm Ruby Rose’s heart at all. 

Listen: Mia Freedman, Holly Wainwright and I discuss the complexities of dating a twin. (Post continues…)


Soon after, she deleted the tweet – and as we all know – a deleted tweet is how every good story begins.

Rose is dating Jess Origliasso, one half of The Veronicas.

Jess and her identical twin sister Lisa emerged as an Australian pop duo in 2004, and only last year released a new single. They were, at least professionally, inseparable.

Then, in November 2016, Jess announced she was dating long-time friend, Ruby Rose.

At first, the three appeared to get along very well.

Image via Instagram.

And then something happened.

We do not know what happened, but their studio album will not be released in 2017 as planned, due to "personal circumstances".

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The pair have not posted a photograph together on social media since June, and Rose and Jess Origliasso have both unfollowed Lisa Origliasso from Twitter and Instagram.

Today, Jess posted a lengthy statement about (what appears to be) her relationship with Lisa, referring to people close to her "degrading [her] sexuality because of their own personal judgements or ignorance."

Given the evidence, it's hard to deny a clear fracture in Jess and Lisa's relationship, and the possibility that Rose might have had something to do with it.

And as someone who has had almost 27 years experience as a twin - half of which have involved dating - I'd advise Rose proceed with caution.

"I'm her little protector." Image via Snapchat.
"I'm her little protector." Image via Snapchat.

Because dating a twin is an entirely different kind of relationship, and it's a domain you have to navigate extremely carefully.

Our narratives about love only make space for one person; the 'love of your life', the 'person who saved you,' a 'best friend' or a 'soul mate'.

But, you see, a twin already has all that.

They have an inbuilt confidant. A person who loves them unconditionally. A bond that an outside partner will never quite be able to understand.

And your relationship likely won't work if a partner finds that threatening.

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Who needs sleep when your reality is finally greater than your wildest dreams????

A post shared by Jessica • Reishi • Veronica (@jessicaveronica) on

My twin sister, Clare, has been in a relationship for eight years. I love her boyfriend like a brother. That doesn't mean there hasn't been lots of issues and countless arguments - it's just that we know, in the end, it has to work.

And perhaps for a moment, when Rose castigated Lisa on twitter, she forgot that.

Have your differences, but have them in private. And then move on.

You cannot put into words the type of bond twins have with one another, for better or for worse.

There is resentment from the time you were four. You get sick of the roles you're forced to play and the interdependency others seem to be free of. Often, they reflect the things you hate most about yourself, and you wonder if things might just be a little different if you'd grown up singular rather than plural.

But there is no one who knows you as well, and no one who has such a clear place in your future.

If there is something I've learned - it's that the twin always wins. And the more quickly a partner realises that, the better.

You can listen to the full episode of Mamamia Out Loud, here. 

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