Our lives were fine.
Little did we know they were about to be enriched by possibly the greatest line of dialogue since Shakespeare.
A 30-second commercial for the Yellow Pages, from the dark time when people used landlines, bounced from a trampoline without safety nets into our lives and changed them for the better.
All because of an aggrieved boss and a forgetful woman named Jan who was so afraid of being reprimanded she quite literally ran from her office and down the street.
Watch Jan in a new Darrell Lea ad below. Post continues after.
Who is Jan? Why is Jan? Has Jan’s boss been reported to HR for being straight-up terrifying?
The details are irrelevant. All we know is Jan’s been the source of every inconvenience we’ve ever had for almost two decades thanks to three words, one sentiment, and one hell of a catchphrase:
“Not happy, Jan.”
It became the phrase that defined our interactions with the grown-ups of our youth, from teachers, to parents, to camp instructors, to that weird family friend who was always sat at the kids’ table.
We’d do our best to conceal our eyerolls when an ~adult~ casually let a “Not happy, Jan” rip… until it happened to us.
We grew older, more bitter, and more annoyed by the slightest inconvenience. We adopted the phrase ourselves.
“Not happy Jan” has entered our vernacular so deeply it’s become near-impossible not to utter whenever we’re even close to “not happy” about well, anything.
It’s as though it falls from our lips before we can stop it, like some sort of tic.
Someone ate the last corn chip? Not happy, Jan. Someone left stray noodles in the sink? Not happy, Jan. Someone wore your top and left fake tan stains on it? You get it.
We honestly think the ad has something to do with the fact that you rarely meet anyone called Jan nowadays.