Have you ever looked at a toddler and just…known they’re planning something?
They won’t look you in the eye. Their mind seems busy. They appear to be stretching their little, chubby fingers in preparation…
I can assure you that there is one thing all toddlers have thought about. Extensively. And it involves the stupid tangly stuff that sits atop their head with those big metal things they’re not allowed to touch.
You see, when you're a toddler you don't have control over much. The technology of scissors makes you feel very, very, powerful.
I would know, because when I was a toddler I cut off my fringe. I remember my mum trying to explain to me that you can't just cut off a fringe because it will look very strange and then you'll have to wait until it grows out.
That concept is far too complex for a toddler to understand. Firstly, it won't look strange because the fringe will have disappeared, obviously, and secondly, I'm three so I have absolutely no concept of time or the future.
The toddler invented the short fringe look. The 'fashun' world has undoubtedly copied them. Specimen A: We call it 'the bored toddler'.
We make fun of this rite of passage, but really it seems to be an important milestone. The ages of 1-4 are about establishing a sense of autonomy, which almost always involves acts of defiance. Mini humans begin to ask 'why'. Why can't I touch the scissors? Why do I have hair? Why can't I chop half of it off and #workit?
There is of course no greater 'why' than when a parent discovers their toddler looking like this....