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I am a crier. I cry when I am hurt, I cry when other people hurt, I cry when I hear something that touches me deeply and I often cry when I feel really happy.  It’s just part of who I am. And, other than the fact that I often have eye make up on my chin and foundation stains down my cheeks, I’m okay with that.

I think crying is healthy part of dealing with emotion. My tears often clear my head, they certainly clear my eye ducts but mostly they cause me to look at the real reason for the fact that my body is responding in such a primal way and as long as that is handled in an appropriate manner and the crying resolves I see no harm revisiting that feeling and trying to learn and grow from it. Or sometimes just feeling it and acknowledge the sadness, I have seen far greater damage done from repressing feelings than letting them show.

As a child I cried frequently and loudly, as a teenager and young adult , I cried silently but regularly.   And as I grew older my tendency to tears didn’t diminish only my chances to show those tears in public did.

When I was in my 30’s  I realised (some may say a little too late) that it was no longer socially acceptable to cry at parties, I had to be more discreet about my panda eyes when leaving movies and crying at work was unprofessional and had the added downfall of making me look a little unhinged.   But I could still cry freely at home because aside from that fact that my husband would often try and “solve” my tears and cure my problems, by and large he understands that sometimes I just need to cry.

And now that I have a child that I cannot (and don’t wish to)  escape from I sometimes cry in front of him.  I’m careful not to howl profusely and I try my hardest not to sob endlessly over things that I cannot control, but I do cry.

Mary Elizabeth Williams wrote in Salon recently about her “year of tears”.  Her tears were very different from mine, caused a result of her cancer diagnosis and the death of two members of her family, she writes in part:

I’m with Williams, I never want to scare my child but I do want him to be empathetic and I want him to know that it’s okay to cry, it keeps the tear ducts clear and it’s okay to be human. Even when you are a mum.

Do you cry in front of your children? Did your parents cry in front of you?

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