By: Divorced Moms.
Take a poll of divorced people, and you’ll find that some remain on civil terms with their exes, while a large number claim to have a “crazy ex.”
Based on these informal polls, that’s a lot of “crazy exes” roaming around in the general population.
What is it about this “crazy ex” phenomenon? Are that many people really plagued by vindictive trouble makers and stalkers who were once their partners and lovers? Is having a crazy ex some sort of status symbol like owning the new iPhone 7? Is it possible to divorce without also having a “crazy ex”?
Have you ever noticed that when news of someone’s divorce hits the rumour circuit it’s never just a divorce…it’s a “bad divorce”. Tell me something: is there such thing as a “good divorce”? I mean, don’t they all suck?
You can sell me on the idea that a couple getting a divorce is a good thing for them, and probably for their kids and others around them, because the situation was so full of conflict and dysfunction. In this way, a divorce serves a valuable purpose to allow a terrible relationship to dissolve and the members of that relationship to have a new lease on life.
The result of the divorce ends up being a positive thing because all of the conflict and drama can release its hold on the couple and there is at least hope for some sort of normalcy to take over.
As a whole, though, divorce as a process is brutal for anyone who goes through it. Is there any such thing as a fun break-up, a pleasant court hearing, or a happily-anticipated bill from the lawyer? No!
True that some divorces are more heinous than others. This is due, in large part, to how complicated the marriage was. I suppose if you have an intricate arrangement over a vast fortune, things can get a bit sticky to untangle and divide the mess.
In other cases, it becomes a nasty mess because the people involved choose to let it become nastier than a divorce typically already is.
We all expect hard feelings over whatever the circumstances were that broke the marriage apart. We already expect some struggles over who gets to keep the big TV or how custody will be arranged.
We are not prepared for the exes who go the extra mile to pull shady or borderline psycho moves like hiding or destroying property, committing slander, alienating kids, or going off the deep end into some of the deeper layers of rage and revenge.
I know for a fact that truly crazy exes exist. I have met and interacted with them and seen their handiwork. I know that the crazy ex is not just an urban legend; but, I do think the term is about as overused as suggesting that every older person who begins to struggle with memory has Alzheimer’s.