"Keys, school bags, lunches. Set to go... Sh*t! I forgot my mask!" This happens every day.
I used to hate the morning routine. The craziness of preparing my four children to leave the house.
The school lunches, the screaming involved in trying to untangle hair, the lost shoes. Now it’s become my favourite part of the day.
I love the chaos. The routine. Having a place to be at a certain time.
My life in Melbourne lockdown had become completely unstructured. Suspended in time, we were just living in limbo for months. I would wake filled with dread of all the hours I once again had to find ways to fill.
Watch: When Daniel Andrews announced easing of restrictions. Post continues below.
Finally, we have been offered relief. We are starting to travel on the roadmap out, There is hope for the return to "COVID normal".
The rainbow is seemingly beginning to emerge from behind the dark clouds. So why do I still feel so drained? Why does it feel like the cloak of darkness still looms?
I’m privileged. I’m healthy. No one I know directly has been affected by the virus and yet I can’t shake the heaviness and exhaustion from my mind. The negative thoughts and an internalised terror looms in the background. Like a quiet hum. A lingering foul aftertaste of the past few months.
I sat quietly and tried to decipher the feelings I was wading through. Why don't I feel more excited?
More than anything I think it’s because of the vast difference between "COVID normal" and normal.
That’s why I love the hectic morning routine. Because it’s the only time of my day when life feels normal. When my mind is so filled with mundane tasks like remembering what goes in each sandwich that I don’t think about the daily numbers or the virus. It’s the only time where my mind is given a brief respite from the COVID mental load.