Dear Bigoted Couple Who Want To Divorce To Protest Gay Marriage,
Nick, today you announced to the world in a piece you wrote for Canberra’s City News that you and your wife Sarah would end your 10 year marriage if same-sex unions were legalised in Australia. As a protest. Because you believed allowing same-sex couples to marry would devalue your own special union.
You admit this may prove confusing for some people since you and Sarah have no desire to actually be unmarried and wish to remain living together until death do you part. You have two kids together and you say you want more.
But Nick, I honestly think divorcing your wife is a terrific idea. You and Sarah should definitely get divorced to loudly protest all this disturbing…. love and monogamy. Why wait until same-sex marriage is legalised? You should divorce now. Like, today.
At first, your kids will be upset. They won’t understand why their parents – who love each other and them so much – aren’t married.
More on this story: A Canberra couple will divorce if same-sex marriage is legalised.
Because isn’t that what couples do when they love each other? Get married if they want to? Pledge their love and commitment to each other in front of their family and friends and, sometimes, their children?
But not to worry. I’m sure you and Sarah will sit your kids down and explain to them that Mummy and Daddy love each other very much and wish with all their hearts they could be married but sadly, cannot.
Funnily enough, that’s exactly what same-sex couples have to tell their children. The only difference Nick, is that same-sex couples don’t have the choice whether or not to be married. You and Sarah do.
Inevitably, your kids will find all of this confusing. And by being confused, they will have so much in common with the children of gay couples! Those kids also don’t understand why their parents aren’t married! Isn’t that a funny co-incidence!
You and Sarah can then explain to your kids that you’re so perversely disturbed by the idea of loving couples you’ll never meet having their relationship legally recognised and having the same legal rights and freedoms as straight people like you and Sarah, that you are prepared to sabotage your own union. Wilfully and for the sole purpose of public grandstanding.
“But what’s it got to do with our family if other people are allowed to marry the ones they love?” your kids will ask, still perplexed. At that point you can nod knowingly and explain to them – like you did in Canberra’s City News- that:
“By changing the definition of marriage, “marriage” will, in years to come, have an altogether different sense and purpose. It will not be about the mystery of difference in sexual unity, as children come from gendered dissimilarity. It will not be about building and securing communities into the future.”