This is what a country childhood is REALLY like.
And while small towns definitely have their charms, it’s not all hot farmers, cleaning out troughs and riding into the wilderness like McLeod’s Daughters would have you believe.
Here are some of the daily struggles all country kids will understand.
1. Lapping the main street is a completely legit form of entertainment.
Who needs shopping malls, bars, bowling alleys or arcades when you have a sweet set of wheels (aka your mum’s Subaru Forester), one main street and So Fresh Hits of ’04? Nobody, that’s who.
2. Ducking into the IGA? Prepare to run into everyone you’ve ever met in your life.
Oh, hai, old kindergarten teacher, ex-neighbour, best friend’s mum’s cousin…
3. There will be gaps in your pop cultural knowledge that will never, ever be filled.
We didn’t get Channel 7 until I was in Year 7 and we didn’t get Channel Ten until well after I left home.
What’s a Dawson Creek? Who is Guy Sebastian? I may never know.
4. A fast food restaurant opening will be the highlight of the year, if not the decade.
You mean, we’re getting McDonald’s? Like normal people?
THIS IS LITERALLY THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED.
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5. People will ask you if you plan on running for Miss Showgirl this year. And they’re completely serious.
The annual show: the biggest social event of the season. And if you’re a young female, your ultimate dream in life is surely to be crowned Miss Showgirl. Right?
6. Snakes. Snakes everywhere.
Under rocks. On the driveway. In the swimming pool. One time, even a snake in the house. Straight-up terrifying.
7. There’s no need to ask anyone what they’re doing this weekend- because you know they’ll be at your town’s one pub, just like last week.
Same time, same place, same people – week in, week out, FOREVER.
8. Never getting away with anything.
Planning on having a party when your parents are away on the weekend? Lol no. Literally the entire town will dob on you the second they are back. There’s no such thing as secrets when you live in a small town.
9. Going shopping? Congratulations – you get to choose between Just Jeans, and one surf brand shop (that probably isn’t located anywhere near the surf).
When it comes to shops, your main street probably resembled a nuclear wasteland. I used to think a trip to Wagga was shopping paradise. Sad, I know.
10. People asking you when you are going to get married…as soon as you turn 18.
Your neighbour. Your boss. Your ex-teachers. Your cousin’s sister’s aunt. All day, erryday.
11. You knew when it was time to go to bed, because Prime Possum told you.
“It’s been a really busy day – I think it’s time for Possum to put us to bed. Goodnight boys and girls.”
Looking back, that shit is creepy.
12. You never heard of fancy city things like “kale” or “quinoa”.
And even if you did, too bad, because they sure as hell weren’t available at the local supermarket.
13. Some asshole probably told you if it reached 40 degrees, school would be cancelled for the day. Yeah, that was a myth.
Of course our public schools didn’t have adequate air conditioning to cope with extreme rural Australian heat, so this was us every day from November to March.
Did you grow up in the country? What are some of the daily struggles you faced?
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