When Anupam Sharma was eight years old, her mother called her back to the kitchen sink after she'd finished washing the dishes after dinner.
One of the plates still had a stain on it.
"How are you going to get married?" her mother asked her exasperated. "Who is going to marry you if you can't even do the dishes?"
WATCH: Anupam opens up about "forbidden love" on SBS Insight. Post continues below.
From the moment Anupam was born she was being domesticated in a way her brother wasn't.
In her deeply conservative and traditional Hindu family, her future had already been planned out. She'd have a career (in either medicine, engineering or accountancy), she'd get married to an Indian Hindu man with a good 'resume', and she'd have children with him.
Anupam's parents were actually quite progressive in many other ways. They were both the first in their families to complete university and travel overseas, and they lived abroad throughout Anupam's childhood as they followed career opportunities.
But Anupam thinks her parents overcompensated for their modern, international lifestyle by hanging on to tradition that little bit tighter. While she and her brother would attend multicultural schools and make friends from all over the world, her parents would seek out the local Indian social club and stick to themselves.
"When I went back to India at the end of high school I felt like India had evolved, but my parents had stayed in the dark ages," Anupam told Mamamia. "My friends the same age had more freedoms than I did despite my international upbringing."