'Do you actually like me?' We asked 50 women what they'd say, anonymously, to their in-laws.

Mamamia's Confessions series asks women to share what they'd say to the people closest to them, if they could do so anonymously. What would you tell your parents? Your manager? Your ex? It could be a secret you've been holding onto for years, or something that's on your mind right now. Nothing is off-limits. 

This week, we asked 50 women the one thing they'd say to their in-laws anonymously. Here's what they told us.

Boundaries.

"Unannounced drop-ins are not acceptable - just text before you 'pop over'. I don’t know anyone who would just pop over, especially when you live an hour away."

"Please don’t move next door, down the street or to the same suburb as us."

"Don’t do the 'pop in'. It’s rude, and chances are we're having sex."

"I'm so glad you are involved with our children and want to be there for them, but sometimes I feel we really need boundaries. The constant phone calls, FaceTime and messages. You had your time as parents and I really wish you would just let my husband and I have ours. From the minute my eldest was born it's been this way. She was taken to NICU instantly, and by the time I was stitched up, showered and hobbled up to the NICU you were already up there hovering over the baby and taking photos of her."

"I love you, but you do drive me a little mad. Some warning before a visit is all I ask."

"Back off! I'm the mum, not you. I call the shots when it comes to my kids. Respect my boundaries."

Watch Mamamia employees anonymously share their meeting the parent horror stories. Post continues after video.

Kids.

"Stop telling me to have kids. I know you want grandchildren but it's not your life, your body or your choice. Just stop."

"Grow up. You're a grandparent, stop acting like a spoilt teenager."

"I don't like the way you speak about people's bodies in front of me or my child. I know your generation was raised differently, but that's not okay anymore."

"Thanks! We have been through ups and downs but I really value your support as grandparents."

"To my mother-in-law, I miss you and I wish you were here to see your granddaughter grow and meet your grandsons. You would have been an incredible grandma and supportive MIL. Lucky to have you for a short time, unlucky to lose you."

Image: Mamamia. 

"To my mother-in-law, thanks for accepting me as your own and recognising that I want a career and a life, not a baby anytime soon! Can’t say the same for grandmother-in-law!"

"Stop kissing my kids on the face. I keep telling you."

"Please talk to me before you say, do or give things to my children. And then please respect my response! I’m sick of feeling like the bad guy who’s raining on the parade every time you bring another crappy toy or sugary treat over, creating clutter and bad habits that I then have to deal with!"

HEALTH.

"Please, please, please get vaccinated (whooping cough, flu and COVID) before our baby comes and before you get very sick yourselves!"

"Please don’t use family group chats for toxic hate, whether it be anti-vax or racism. I know you feel it is a safe space to voice these opinions, but it makes everyone else uncomfortable and no one knows how to address the issue without a family fight."

"Get the bloody COVID jab! You infuriating woman!"

Their relationship with their son.

"You need to stop kissing your son on the lips when you say hello. He thinks it’s weird and so do I! I'm the only person who should be kissing my partner on the lips."

"Please let him go. He is still your son, but he is a man, a very successful man, with three beautiful boys, and your constant judgement and control has damaged his confidence, his mental health and his belief in himself. Be proud and step back."

"He is a good man. Just love him."

"Your son had an affair and I know you blame me for not 'giving him enough attention'. He can do no wrong in your eyes."

"I'm the one who organises the catch-ups and visits, your son would hardly make contact if it wasn’t for me!"

"Would it kill you to phone your son on his birthday? Must I call you every year and remind you? Seriously. It hurts him so much knowing that you don't show up for him. He acts like he doesn't know I remind you, but I know he does."

"I am not your enemy. We can both love him without competition."

"My husband is an excellent human. You did a great job. But it's time to leave him to be a grown-ass human. Just because your other child is still acting like a mid-thirties man-baby, doesn't mean you still need to actively mother both of your children."

"The relationship you have with your son is very different to the one I’d like to have with mine. Oh, and I’m never having Christmas with you again."

"Your son is no f**king God!"

Marriage.

"It wasn’t me who broke up our marriage - your son cheated on me."

"Can you stop saying what an amazing husband and father your son is? He really isn’t."

"Stop acting like your family isn't toxic, get some help and leave my family alone. Our marriage has barely survived your years of interference. We moved away for a reason. We needed space from you."

Image: Mamamia. 

"Mother-in-law, you're not the most important woman in his life anymore."

"You were one of the biggest reasons we ended. The constant remarks, pressure and innuendos of when you'll ever get a grandchild, what we should or shouldn’t be doing to the house, etc, killed our relationship."

"I love you but I don’t want to be married to your son anymore."

Their relationship with their daughter-in-law.

"Why don't you ever ask me any questions? Are you not interested in me?"

"Thank you for watching me mature from the young party person with no idea into the wife and mother I am today. I am 200 per cent sure that along the way you wondered what your son was getting himself into. Thank you for standing by us."

"You make me feel so insecure."

"Stop telling me how beautiful and gorgeous all of my partner's female friends and cousins are. I know they are beautiful but so am I and if you don’t think so, don’t say anything!"

"Do you actually like me or do you secretly talk behind my back saying I’m not good enough?"

"Stop treating me like a random friend of your son rather than part of your family."

"Thank you for always being kind and helpful to me from the very beginning."

Money.

"I’m so sorry for the bad luck you have had and that we aren't financially in a better position to help you have a better life."

"Having money does not give you the right to treat people like sh*t. Be humble."

"Stop relying on your son to fund your life."

Image: Mamamia. 

"Your selfishness knows no bounds. From 'forgetting your wallet' every time we were out for dinner to renting a house from one of your kids and demanding heavily subsidised rent. You refused to pay for a ticket to the graduation ceremony to see your son graduate from medical school. You made him pay on top of his loans as a broke student so you could attend."

"Just pretend you want to pick up the bill, just once."

Miscellaneous.

"You're not a wizard - you don’t know the answer to EVERYTHING."

"Please don’t whine about your sex life with your husband."

"To my father-in-law, please shower more than once a week and wear deodorant."

"Stop giving your opinion of what we should do to our house. I never make comments on your sh*t tip!"

"Get a hobby and stop gossiping about people."

"Literally, f**k offffffffff."

Do you have any confessions of your own to add? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Read our previous confessions articles here:

• "You make life hard." We asked 40 mums what they'd say, anonymously, to their kids.
• "I can’t stand your parents!" We asked 50 women what they'd say, anonymously, to their partner.
• "You blatantly favour her": We asked 50 women what they'd say, anonymously, to their parents.
• "You're not funny": We asked 50 women what they'd say, anonymously, to their boss.

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