Last week I asked my partner once again, if I could write about her and I and share our story. She finally said yes, and I breathed a big sigh of relief. And yet, even writing this has me filled with nerves and hesitation.
You see, for the past year her and I have been hiding a huge secret… There has been fear that people will judge us, misunderstand our relationship and ultimately doubt that the love between us is genuine and real. We have feared we would be ridiculed and judged for our choice to be together.
Why? Because both her and I were once in heterosexual marriages. Mine for over seven years, hers for 10.
We both had nasty marriage breakups, and somehow, together in our brokenness, we found each other and all our broken pieces somehow fit together and have made us whole again.
Between her and I, we have three beautiful daughters all aged 6 years old, and it was our children who initially brought us together through their friendship at school.
I never in a million years pictured myself in a same sex relationship. But then again, never did I picture myself a suddenly single mother when my daughter turned five.
Our relationship has been one of the most incredible, beautiful and natural experiences of my life. I fall in love with her daily and thank my lucky stars that we found each other. I feel so fortunate to finally be in a relationship where I am respected, loved, cherished and valued as a human being. I have finally found my soul mate and I want to shout it from the rooftops. I want to share my happiness with all who know us, I want people to know that her and I are finally happy.
I don’t want to constantly be questioned if we are ‘seeing anyone’ or if we have boyfriends… I don’t want to have to lie and say ‘Oh, I’m happy being single right now’. It’s not the truth, I am in a relationship with a beautiful woman and we are sharing our life together and raising our daughters together – The only difference this has to being in a ‘hetro’ relationship is the fact we are both female.
That’s it. BIG DEAL. The way I love, who I want to be with and how I choose to have sex or who I may wish to marry one day shouldn’t be anyone else’s business.
But sadly it is.