This post deals with suicidal ideation and might be triggering for some readers.
In an interview with Good Morning America on Wednesday, the former NFL star, who previously appeared on The Bachelorette and Bachelor in Paradise, shared he came to terms with his sexuality earlier this year.
"For me, I've run from myself for a long time, I’ve hated myself for a long time," he said.
"I'm gay and I came to terms with that earlier this year and have been processing it, and the next step in all of this was sort of letting people know."
Watch a snippet from Good Morning America's Colton Underwood interview below. Post continues after video.
Although Underwood shared he's the "happiest and healthiest" he's ever been, the 29-year-old admitted that it hasn't been easy.
"I got into a place with my personal life that was dark and bad. I got to a place where... I would’ve rather died than say I’m gay," he shared.
"There was a moment in LA that I woke up, and I didn’t think I was going to wake up. I didn’t have the intentions of waking up. I think that for me was my wake-up call."
In the interview, Underwood shared he "just felt different" from the age of six. However, after growing up in the Catholic Church, he struggled to accept his sexuality.
"I used to wake up in the morning and pray for him to take the gay away. I used to pray for him to change me," he said.
"I literally remember praying to God the morning I found out I was the Bachelor and thanking him for making me straight," he continued.
"I remember that vividly, of saying like, 'Finally, you're letting me be straight. Finally, you're giving me a wife, a fiancée.'"
JUST IN: Former “Bachelor” star @Colton Underwood speaks his truth and comes out to @robinroberts: “I’m gay. And I came to terms with that earlier this year and have been processing it… I’m the happiest and healthiest I’ve ever been in my life.” https://t.co/PoYJUAPBpA pic.twitter.com/isP7SptUu7— Good Morning America (@GMA) April 14, 2021