One woman's epic take down of the Coles' employee who offered her paper towels.

“When a woman is menstruating, she becomes a scary, enraged and frustrated being…”

If a woman has her period, do not mess.

If you do, you may find yourself on the receiving end of a hilarious rant such as the one eloquently delivered to Coles by Lauren Jovanovic.

Jovanovic decided to post on Coles’ Facebook wall after receiving some very unhelpful advice from one of their employees.

(To fully appreciate it, you must read until her suggestion of where the employee should put its Coles’ paper towels. Trust us.)

The post reads:

“Hi Coles. Just wondering whether your male checkout staff receive training on appropriate conversation and facial expressions to display while scanning female sanitary items, such as pads and tampons? I ask this because during my last shop, a young man that didn’t even reach my boobs in regards to height, was somehow under the impression that “have you tried viva paper towels, I’ve heard they’re pretty absorbent?’ was an acceptable question to ask me while he bagged my Libra pads. The smile on his face was also quite large, even bigger than the pack of pads he had just put through for me. Now usually I am all for a good sense of humour, however when a woman is menstruating, she becomes a scary, enraged and frustrated being, and certainly does not want to hear about alternative ways to contain or absorb the blood that is mercilessly flowing out of her nether regions. A simple ‘how has your day been?’ would suffice. Now, all that being said, if any of your male employees claim that some crazy woman offered to insert a roll of viva paper towels up their bum hole to see just how ‘absorbent’ they really are, then I must assure you that they are lying. I actually suggested ‘Coles’ brand, because I believe your staff should stand behind (or in this case, in front of) your own line of products at all times. Sincerely, a female customer who is quite capable of handling her own time of the month.”

As of yet, it does not appear if Coles have replied.

Probably for the best, really.

Related links:

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Venting about those around you? It’s probably making you feel worse. 

7 ways to be insufferable on Facebook.