There was a dress in my wardrobe that was haunting me. This dress belonged to a ghost: the ghost of Pre-Baby Carla. I used to genuinely love that dress – it was a floaty, floral purple day dress that had the perfect 90s vibe. But recently, I realised that I hate it.
The reason why I suddenly loathed this dress had nothing to do with fashion.
It was because I had started to use the dress as a form of measurement to see if my body had returned to its pre-baby shape. Every time I felt a bit thinner, or knew that I’d lost a kilo, I’d try on that dress.
Every time I would get down in the dumps because it didn’t fit the way it used to.
The existence of that dress started to bother me so much that one day I just gave it away forever and never looked back. I didn’t just give away one dress – I gave away all of my pre-baby clothes. It was liberating.
When I was pregnant in 2013 with my daughter and had put on weight, I missed wearing my usual wardrobe but assumed that I could wear it again after I’d given birth.
Two years later, I was still struggling to lose those final three kilos that would bring me back to my pre-baby weight. I’d gained 25 kilos during my pregnancy with Emmeline – much of it was fluid, brought on by my chronic kidney disease, but admittedly, a lot of it was the mini apple pies with icecream that I ate everyday.
I worked hard to lose the majority of those 25 kilos but the last three kilos were the hardest to kick. I’m a fairly healthy person but I do lack the time to really commit myself to exercising. I’m actually happy with my body because I’m healthy and strong.