Chrissy Teigen, I love you, but I don't love what you have to say about motherhood.

Model and TV presenter, Chrissy Teigen. (Source: Getty.)

I usually love any news on Chrissy Teigen, but I felt disappointed when I read one of her comments on new mothers.

In an interview with Du Jour Magazine, Chrissy was adamant that parenthood would not change her and shared her belief that some new mothers can lose their intelligence and ambition.

“I feel like sometimes when people give birth, they give birth to a tiny part of their brain. Whatever they thought they would be goes out the window and they kind of lose their minds,” she explained.

Ouch. The suggestion that after birth, women lose part of their brains, careers and sanity, is hurtful. Also, if anyone knows of a woman whose brain has exited via her vagina, could you please get a doctor to textbook that shit?

As a mum to a toddler daughter, comments like Chrissy’s can sting because it’s simply not true.

When I was faced with the challenge of a lifetime – keeping a newborn baby alive, while on very little sleep – I had to summon all the brainpower and strength that I had.

I read every book on parenting that I could get my hands on. The more medically and psychologically-inclined the text, the better because I wanted to be as informed as possible for my new role as a mother.

"I read every book on parenting that I could get my hands on."

Personally, I found that becoming a mother actually increased my career ambitions and revealed aspirations that I didn’t even know I had.

In every spare minute that I had, whether I was sitting quietly while I breastfed my daughter, or if she was asleep for just half an hour, I tried to develop my mind and career.

I read novels while I breastfed. When Emmy fell asleep in the car, I’d pull over to a quiet suburban street, grab my laptop off the back seat and start blogging. If anything, the isolation of new motherhood only reminded me of who I was and what I had to give. In no way did my identity or ambition disappear “out the window”. (Post continues after gallery.)


Chrissy Teigen describing new mums as missing a “tiny part of their brains”, forgetting their ambitions and “losing their minds” also hurts because it plays into my insecurities. When I’m out and about pushing my daughter around in a pram I worry that people will think that I’m a bored housewife with nothing better to do. We can be quick to judge those who are the most vulnerable.

“Working Carla” and “mum Carla” get treated very differently. It’s all deferential smiles and great service when I enter a cosmetics boutique dressed in my best “beauty editor” outfit and red lipstick and then it can be eye rolls and patronising questions if I’m there in my trackies, toting a gigantic pram and baby bag.

Guess what? I’m still the same woman, whether I’m with my daughter or not.

Don't get me wrong, there's a small part of me that can understand why Chrissy Teigen made those comments about new mothers. That’s because I used to think the same thing – that the new mothers I saw around me had somehow become shadows of their former bright, determined selves.

Charlotte (Kristin Davis) from "Sex and the City" was obsessed with babies. News flash: she's not a real person.

It’s easy to make generalisations about parents, especially if you’re yet to step into that role yourself. When I saw friends with their newborn babies, I would feel frustration because every conversation revolved around their baby. Where was my friend who loved to discuss films and books with me?

I didn’t realise that the birth of their child had unlocked a terrifying love, the sort of love that assumes that every time their baby is silent, it means that they’re dead or dying. That sort of love can, temporarily at least, take up every reserve of strength and thought that you have. Whether you're a working mother, or a stay-at-home mother, in no way does your choice make you stupid.

Are you a mother? Has it changed your aspirations?

00:00 / ???