sex

BREAKING: Chris Pratt has "perfect" balls, according to Anna Faris.

He’s got two of them, and they’re both exquisite apparently. (Source: Getty.)

We knew that Chris Pratt was perfect – he’s got that whole funny, cute movie star thing down pat – but did you know that his testicles are also magnificent?

That is, according to his partner, the equally funny, cute, movie star Anna Faris. As his wife of seven years, we dare say that this qualifies Faris as a Chris Pratt Balls Expert.

This news is groundbreaking on two levels. One, we now know that Chris Pratt is adorable everywhere. Like, all over his entire body.

But two, it has become apparent that testicles are considered to be attractive – at least, by one human in the world.

What were formerly dismissed as wrinkly, mysterious and hairy pouches of skin – basically, the Walter Matthau of genitals – have been declared by Faris as ‘incredible’, ‘sexy’ and ‘perfect’.

(Don’t forget about all the other bits! Dr Ginny and Shelly Horton discuss the average penis size. Post continues after video.)

In the latest episode of her podcast, Anna Faris Is Unqualified, Faris overshared on Pratt’s secret parts. The true nature of Pratt’s testicles was divulged when Faris interviewed Aubrey Plaza, who played Pratt’s wife on the NBC sitcom Parks and Recreation.

Rather than tiptoe around the fact that Plaza and Pratt have pashed onscreen, Faris just went straight to the meat of the situation.

She asked Plaza, “Have you seen my husband’s balls?” When Plaza had to regretfully decline, Faris blurted out: “They are incredible.” She further added to this picture by clarifying, “They are some sexy balls.”

If this wasn’t enough, Faris later took the time to further praise Pratt’s balls: “They’re perfect”.

Now, if I was a pair of testicles attending  Testicle High School and received the words “incredible”, “sexy” and “perfect” on my report card, I’d be downright stoked.

And thus, we learn yet one more relationship tip from celebrities in love: appreciation for even the most neglected parts of your partner just cannot go unnoticed.

Have you ever overshared on what you love about your partner? What did you say, and were they cool with it?

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