I’ve often heard it said that parenting is the gradual process of letting go. To me that saying always made me feel a little sad, like from the beginning I had to start saying goodbye. After having three children of my own though I’ve realised that the process of letting go isn’t actually so, it’s just the way that we parent our children that changes and adapts to them getting bigger.
When our babies first arrive in our arms, be it through natural birth, C-section, adoption or surrogacy, they need us and that never stops. Sure, as newborns their needs are so very clear. They need to be clean and fed. They need to be warm. They need help with burping and winding and they need love.
As they grow and develop though, the ways in which we parent our children changes. All of a sudden your baby is no longer a newborn. They don’t need burping the way they once did. They might not need your help getting off to sleep. But they do start needing other things. Things they didn’t need before, a different kind of parenting and a different kind of love.
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For some parents - especially mothers - the hardest time is when the child is literally grown and you really do have to let them go to their own home or partner.
My own mother did NOT cope with this at all, and her response ruined our relationship. That day does come, and you have to let your children live their lives. The steps along the way while they are under our roof are small - the author's kids are still just that, kids. I'd love to see an article on parents not coping with grown kids leaving home. Parents who can't / won't let go of the involved parent role. And maybe grown children who allow that intrusion, on the flip side.