You may have heard a thing or two about Snapchat. Every day, hundreds of millions of pictures and videos are being shared daily. It all can seem quite innocent. But I learnt the hard way that a relationship can struggle to survive this mega social media phenomenon if a line isn’t drawn early on.
I had major issues in my long term relationship with Snapchat. I was originally uninterested in it, but my partner and friends had it and I was curious as to what all the hype was about. I downloaded it and added my main friends, including my partner and after a short while I got the hang of it – I still didn’t grasp the concept of sending work selfies and strategically placed food snaps to my friends – but I continued on the down-low and sent the odd photo to my friends. However, one day I noticed my partner got a Snapchat, from a woman we’ll call Anna*.
This is where the problems began. For starters, Anna was an amateur porn star who got her followers by sending crude photos of herself to the world (yes, my inner feminist was screaming out too), and while I knew she wasn’t sending snaps directly to my partner, more likely to all her “friends”, it still bothered me to see him open a Snapchat of a scantily clad woman in a compromising position and then for it to vanish in 10 seconds, or to see him viewing her story, which involved her giving the camera a lap dance – yes that’s correct – she was again wearing minimal clothing and dancing by herself in front of her camera for a 110 seconds. When I asked my partner what it was, he told me “Oh just an account my work friend told me to follow”, and that was it… I didn’t receive any further information and the subject was changed.
Can you imagine what’s going through my mind at this stage? Who was this woman? Who was the ‘friend’ who told him to follow such a person? Do I even know my own boyfriend? Is she sending him personal messages/snaps? Why was he looking at her? Did he always look at her posts? Did he look at it “alone”? Did he look at it before we…? Did he NEED to look at it? Could I ever dance like that? Should I be doing that for him? God - I thought of every single possible scenario under the sun, and it honestly ate at me for over a week. A stupid 10-second photo – that he would never see again (until she posted something else), and a 110 second video, that would be updated regularly?! Really, I was getting so upset about it and it made me even more upset that my partner thought this was normal because most of his mates were following her too (mind you the ‘mates’ in question were single and very much ‘players’).