Recently hitched couples can appreciate even more than the rest of us just how many traditions there are when it comes to organising your big day. Will the bride wear white? Will you wed in a church? Will one of you be ‘given away’? But when it comes to love and marriage, is tradition alone a good enough reason for doing any of these things?
Two married couples explain to Mamamia their reasons for taking a different approach to the traditional act of saying ‘I do’, to a new surname.
Paediatric nurse, Amber, is happily married to general practitioner, Adam, and mum to 20-month-old Felix, with baby number two on the way. Amber and her son (and future bub-to-be) share a surname, but as she explains, it is not the same as her husband’s.
“Adam and I had a very traditional wedding; I wore a beautiful white dress, I had five bridesmaids and a sit-down meal followed by a party with our family and friends. We really enjoyed the celebratory aspect of being engaged and getting married, but like many other brides, I decided to keep my own surname of Sinclair.
“Three years later when pregnant with Felix, Adam and I discussed what the baby’s surname would be. I questioned the general assumption that he would automatically take Adam’s and why in 2018 the man’s family name is still considered more important than the woman’s. We also took into account the practical fact that my surname is easier to pronounce and spell than Adam’s!”
“While Adam didn’t want to change his surname, he was not at all worried about having a different one to the rest of us. He is from a big extended family with plenty of male descendants to carry on the name, where as I am one of two daughters from a small family.”
During her pregnancy, Amber also spoke to her mum and dad about the impending surname decision to see how they felt.