celebrity

Every celebrity ever is pregnant, and we have five (totally robust) theories why.

No, there isn’t anything in the water, but people in Hollywood sure have been busy between the sheets of late, because everyone – and I really do mean everyone – is pregnant and announcing it.

Beyoncé is pregnant. Amal Clooney is pregnant. Whitney Port is pregnant. Lauren Conrad is pregnant. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is pregnant. Natalie Portman is pregnant. Which obviously means that something is up, and I don’t know about you, but I needed to know more.

celebrity pregnancies 2017
The ultimate announcement. Image via Beyonce.com

Here are five theories as to what's been going on in the bedrooms of celebrities.

1. A massive snowstorm hit New York exactly three months ago.

In truth, I have no idea if said snowstorm happened, and weather reports from October would suggest it didn't, but let's just go with it anyway.

A major snowstorm hit New York city a little over three months ago, and celebrities (and ordinary people) were snowed in. There was nothing to do and nowhere to go... but the bedroom. Heaters were cranked up, woollen socks were taken off...

... and babies were made.

celebrity pregnancies 2017
The maker of many a celebrity baby. Source: Getty.
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2. Trump was elected President.

Seeing the single most terrifying presidential candidate of all time win office is a lot to deal with. It makes you question things on a deeper level, you know? Like, what is the meaning of life? What is your true purpose? Why are you here? Why is your significant other here? And then you remember, you're here to reproduce, and so is your partner.

3. The US celebrated Thanksgiving.

Because nothing says "let's have a baby" quite like seeing your significant other rock a post-Thanksgiving feast food baby and deciding to get it on while you're surrounded by the most punishing members of your family for a long weekend.

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4. The Victoria's Secret Show aired.

Nothing gets ridiculously good looking people in the mood for unprotected sex quite like watching other ridiculously good looking people parade down a runway in lingerie.

What can I say? The Weeknd was playing, the wings were fluttering, and one thing just led to another...

celebrity babies 2017
Babies have been consummated to less. Source: Getty.

5. They were, in the words of Kim Kardashian, "horny and bored."

Perhaps the most believable of all five theories is the idea that a bunch of people were simply in similar stages of their relationships, in love and having regular sex at the same time. They were, as Kim Kardashian said in the first episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, "horny and bored."

Simple.

What's your (totally robust) theory for all the celebrity pregnancies?

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