Oops! Incidentally naked.

Social media devotees are known for highly-curated Instagram accounts intended to induce envy and awe in viewers.

Many choose a direct route: immaculate selfies, piles of ostentatious designer products and exotic locales feature heavily. If at all possible, there will be private-jet selfies. That’s the real money shot.

Then there’s the humblebrag: a post that purports to be self-deprecating but which is actually intended to show off the subject in a favourable light. It’s an excruciating form of false modesty.

Here’s a prime example of the humblebrag:

But lately, we’re noticing a third category of social media brag posting: incidental nudes.

The majority of offenders in this category tend to be young, very famous and possessed by a shameless narcissism with which they may have been born. It is, sadly, incurable but generally diminishes with age and the corresponding bodily deterioration.

Here’s an excellent recent example. It’s model Gigi Hadid, showing us her manicure:

This pic? It’s about Gigi Hadid’s new manicure.

The incidental nude is ostensibly about something else: a new manicure, a designer outfit, a new yoga move. In actual fact, though, its sole purpose is to show off the subject’s nude or nearly nude body.

We want to tell Instagram nudists: just be honest — there’s no shame in loving your bod. Tag your pictures, “Look at my bum! I think it looks super-hot today” or “I am recording my fabulous breasts for posterity”. Tell the world, “My abs are flat because I go to the gym a lot and I don’t have anything better to do!”

Here are some prime examples of the incidental nude. 

The incidental nudes.

Paris Hilton

She tagged this boob-heavy shot "Spa day!"

Justin Bieber

The newly peroxided singer tagged this shot "Glacier tip". We'd have called it "See? Those Calvin Klein ads weren't photoshopped."

Kesha

She is "hiding from ghosts".

Lady Gaga

Check out my wigs!

kim k preg

Lindsay Lohan

This is how Lohan asks her followers where they think she should go on holidays.

Lady Gaga

This Instagram picture is about yoga, not butts.

Kendall Jenner

There is a tiny car on Kendall Jenner's bum! Nudity is not the issue here!

Kylie Jenner

Don't you hate it when you're having a "chill pool day at the Disick mansion" and your pants fall down?

Chrissy Teigan

Teigan posted this incidental nude to make fun of her granny pants.

Rihanna

This is exactly what our holiday paddle-boarding snaps look like.

Kylie Jenner

This photo was posted by Jenner with a caption about how much weight she's gained. She looks terribly self-conscious about it.

Amber Rose

The #badbitch posted this pic with thanks to a designer for her swimsuit. We'd have probably just thanked our mum for that butt.

Gigi Hadid

Gigi posted this pic with a manicure emoji. She wants you to focus on her nails, you guys.

MIley Cyrus

Here, Miley is apparently showing off her cosmetic facial mask. Not, you know, her boobs. Duh.

Christina Aguilera

She is "all real, all the time" and wants to "start sharing personal stuff" such as boobs.

Miranda Kerr

Miranda again! "Just reading the newspaper."