weddings

All the celebrity marriages that never made it past the 2 year point, and what they have in common.

When it comes to celebrity marriages, let's just say that the bar is not very high...

In fact, if they make it past 72 days (yes, we're looking directly at you Kim Kardashian) then it's considered to be something of a triumph.

Listen to Kelly McCarren talk through her disaster of a wedding on Overshare. Post continues after podcast.

Whether these celebs are wedding fellow Hollywood starlets or opting to 'marry a normal', the following 19 marriages failed to reach the two-year-itch milestone - calling it quits via divorce or an annulment sometimes moments after exchanging vows. 

When compiling this slightly depressing list, we noticed a few similarities between these now-deceased relationships and have presented them in a little not-to-do-list so you can avoid the same fate.

To make your marriage last longer than two years you should probably not...

  • Wear denim on your wedding day.
  • Say 'I Do' at the Little White Chapel in Las Vegas.
  • Propose to a hot bartender at 2am and be married by 5am.

...but if you feel like proving us wrong, go ahead! (And send pics please.)

Zoë Kravitz and Karl Glusman.

Married for: 1.5 years.

Image: Instagram. 

A year and a half after marrying Karl Glusman in a semi-secret ceremony, Zoë Kravitz has reportedly filed for divorce. 

The two got hitched in a civil ceremony in 2019, but threw a massive party later on at Lenny Kravitz's mansion in Paris. It was an uber stylish affair, attended by nearly all Kravitz’s Big Little Lies co-stars - Laura Dern, Reese Witherspoon, Nicole Kidman, and Shailene Woodley. 

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Britney Spears and Jason Alexander.

Married for: 55 hours.

Image: Getty. 

One of Britney’s iconic ‘Oops I did it again’ moments was when the singer called up her childhood pal/booty call, Jason Alexander, and flew him to Vegas for a wild New Year’s Eve party. The pair took to the famous Little White Wedding Chapel and said their vows. 

Perhaps the most important detail from their day was that Britney was wearing distressed denim and a crop top. Because, of course.

The next morning Britney rang up her mum and manager and got the married annulled on the grounds that the singer "lacked understanding of her actions, to the extent that she was incapable of agreeing to the marriage”.

Jennifer Lopez and Ojani Noa.

Married for: 313 days.

Image: Getty. 

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Lopez and Noa got married on February 22, 1997, but less than a year later, they called it quits. Since divorcing, they've had several legal issues - including Noa threatening to write a book exposing her and sharing one of the sex tapes they made together. Not cool, Noa.

Jennifer Lopez and Cris Judd.

Married for: 218 days.

Image: Getty. 

Jennifer Lopez was once married to one of her backup dancers (no, not Casper, but one from the early 2000s). The two said ‘I Do’ in September 2001 before wrapping things up by June 2002. 

Cher and Greg Allman.

Married for: Nine days.

Image: Getty. 

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Despite their best efforts, Las Vegas weddings don't seem to bode well for a happily ever after… Singers Cher and Greg Allman split just nine short days after their 1975 chapel wedding, with Cher blaming her new husband's addiction issues as the reason for their split. 

Carmen Electra and Dennis Rodman.

Married for: (Also) Nine days.

Image: Getty. 

For any of those who watched The Last Dance documentary on Netflix, you will have spotted basketballer Dennis Rodman living his best life in Las Vegas with Carmen Electra. The two had such a blast that they decided to head off to the chapel to say ‘I Do’ on one of their wild nights out.

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It was only after the two got over their massive hangovers that they filed for annulment, suggesting that they had been a little too intoxicated on the night of their nuptials to make a rational decision. 

Nicki Hilton and Todd Meister.

Married for: Six weeks.

Image: Getty. 

You bet it’s another Las Vegas nuptial disaster!

Nicky Hilton wed New York money manager Todd Meister at the Vegas Wedding Chapel, with her sister Paris standing by her side as maid of honour. In true casual fashion, the groom wore jeans and the bride wore a blue halter dress.

After a few months, Nicky and Todd’s long-distance relationship wasn’t working so well and the two agreed on an annulment. Nicky famously went on to marry James Rothschild, an heir to one of the wealthiest families in the world.

Drew Barrymore and Jeremy Thomas.

Married for: Two months.

Image: Getty. 

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It’s the classic fairytale of a girl, in a bar, just desperately trying to hook up with the bartender, ending in a strut down the aisle and a rapid divorce.

Drew Barrymore dated bartender Jeremy Thomas for just six weeks before Drew proposed in a Hollywood alleyway. Three hours later (at around five in the morning), the pair were married by a rogue clairvoyant minister. 

Because Drew was filming a movie at the time, the newlyweds decided to postpone their honeymoon to the summer, but they never made it to the next season. Within months Drew had filed for divorce, and many reported at the time that the pair never even lived together during their rapid marriage.

Drew Barrymore and Tom Green.

Married for: 163 days.

Image: Getty. 

Lasting six times longer than her previous marriage (but still clocking in under a year) Drew Barrymore eloped with MTV host Tom Green in 2001. Five months later, Green filed for divorce.

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In 2014 during an interview with Oprah, Green revealed that the two were no longer in communication but said "I'm glad she's doing great. I'm really happy that she's doing good”.

Elizabeth Taylor and Conrad ‘Nicky’ Hilton

Married for: 205 days.

Image: Getty. 

Believe it or not, Elizabeth Taylor was just 18 years old when she said ‘I Do’ to the hotel heir Nicky Hilton. However, the marriage was over before her 19th birthday.

We don’t know too much about the Taylor-Hilton marriage other than what the bride wrote about in her 1965 memoir. She notes that the marriage was practically over by the time they returned from their two-week honeymoon.

"The honeymoon in Europe lasted two weeks. I should say the marriage lasted for two weeks. Then came, yours sincerely, disillusionment rude and brutal."

The actress went on to wed eight more times.

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries.

Married for: 72 days.

Image: E! 

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Ahh, what’s an E! wedding special if it’s not swiftly followed up with a hectic divorce?

Basketballer Kris Humphries proposed to Kim Kardashian during an episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, which also documented the entire engagement, wedding planning and big day.

The couple were arguing in the weeks leading up to the wedding day, but managed to pull it together for their larger-than-life ceremony and reception - featuring three wedding dress changes. 

However, the marriage quickly fell apart with Kim Kardashian admitting that she’d made a huge mistake in marrying Kris and divorce proceedings quickly following suit. Their legal negotiations dragged on for years (with Kris trying to squeeze $7 million out of Kim) but it all eventually wrapped on the 3rd of June, 2013 - precisely 12 days before North West was born.

Sophia Bush and Chad Michael Murray.

Married for: Five months.

Image: Getty. 

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The One Tree Hill lovebirds wed in 2005 after being red-carpet darlings for yonks. However, surprising literally all fans of the show, the couple filed for annulment just a few months after their wedding day on the grounds that Chad Michael Murray allegedly cheating on Sophia Bush with Paris Hilton.

It’s a seriously 00s saga, if you ask us.

Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney.

Married for: 128 days.

Image: Getty & Pinterest. 

Renee Zellweger shocked the world when she married country singer Kenny Chesney in May 2005, after just four short months of dating. 

Fast forward four months and Zellweger had filed for an annulment, listing "fraud" as the reason for the split. Ooft. 

Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth.

Married for: Eight months.

Image: Instagram. 

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Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth had a notoriously on-again-off-again relationship after meeting and falling in love on the set of The Last Song. Between paparazzi shots and ‘Wrecking Ball’ we barely kept up, but we all witnessed their ‘happy ending’ when Cyrus shared snaps of their intimate wedding which took place in their house.

The singer then confirmed in August 2019 that she and her husband were spending some time apart to "focus on themselves", and Hemsworth filed for divorce later that month. The separation came just eight months after they tied the knot and the two haven’t been 'on-again' since.

Mario Lopez and Ali Landry.

Married for: Two weeks.

Image: Getty & Boston Weddings. Despite dating for a seriously long time, this couple split shortly after their beach wedding because Lopez supposedly cheated on her at his bachelor party. Landry found out when someone snuck a photo to her sister of the, umm, event. 

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To rub some more salt in the wound, in his 2014 memoir, Lopez claimed that he was never really in love with her anyway. HARSH.

Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock.

Married for 122 days.

Image: Getty. Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson were the height of rock ‘n’ roll power coupledom. They married on a yacht during the summer of 2006, but by the time autumn rolled around they had already submitted their divorce papers.

When Ellen DeGeneres asked Kid Rock if he kept in touch with Anderson, he said: "If I saw her somewhere I'd say hi, but I try not to go in the same circles. I touched stove, stove was hot, I think I not touch stove anymore." 

Elisabeth Moss and Fred Armisen.

Married for: Eight months.

Image: Getty. 

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The Handmaid's Tale lead actress and SNL star seemed like a solid couple, but just eight months after saying ‘I Do’ the pair split. 

The breakup would have hardly made headlines had Elisabeth not spilled some serious tea during an interview with New York magazine in 2014. Moss said, "one of the greatest things I heard someone say about him is, 'He's so great at doing impersonations. But the greatest impersonation he does is that of a normal person.' To me that sums it up”. Oh my. 

Nicolas Cage and Lisa Marie Presley.

Married for: 107 days.

Image: Getty. Yep, you read that right, the only child of singer Elvis Presley wed the Oscar winning actor (weirdly) on the 25th anniversary of her father's death. However, the couple split three short months later and have remained pretty quiet on the reasons why.

"I did not talk about the marriage and I am not going to talk about the divorce," Cage said through his publicist in a statement. 

"I'm sad about this, but we shouldn't have been married in the first place," Presley said in her own response to CNN

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Amber Rose and Wiz Khalifa.

Married for: 14 months.

Image: Instagram & Getty. These two firecrackers lasted a smidge over a year, with infidelity rumours running wild. Supposedly, Amber Rose walked in on Wiz Khalifa having a threesome, which prompted her to file for divorce. However, her husband maintained that the couple had been separated for weeks at ~that~ point.

In a wonderful twist, the two decided to celebrate their divorce by throwing a split party at a strip club! 

Now you're probably feeling super inspired to tie the knot (lol), have a look at engagement ring trends throughout the years.


Video via Mamamia.

Feature Image: Mamamia.