Seven Year Switch’s Cassie: “I lay awake last night with tears rolling down my face.”

Video by Video by Shayni Notelovitz

Earlier this year, Australia learned about Seven Year Switch’s Cassie and Ryan‘s stillbirth heartbreak.

The parents lost their little boy Dex Gregory, who was born sleeping, four years ago on Wednesday.

“This moment four years ago my darling baby boy kicked his last movements I would ever feel,” Cassie, a Stillbirth Foundation ambassador, shared with her 26,000 Instagram followers on Tuesday afternoon. “Shortly after that, the mild contractions stopped, I knew in that moment that something was wrong.”

A photo posted by Ryan And Cass (@ryanandcass) on

While the mum-of-four welcomed bub Mena Lee in the middle of June, the pain of losing Dex, Cassie writes, is sharper than ever.

“I lay awake last night with tears rolling down my face as yet again,” she shared, adding: “I was researching and I’d learned another possibility of what might have gone wrong in those days leading up to my son’s death.”

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The thought that she will never truly know what caused her son’s death still haunts Cassie daily.

“Still no one can tell me what happened to my baby. I find this crazy.”

The frustrated mother says she’s “deeply disappointed” with the treatment she’s received from medical professionals, who she describes as “reluctant to listen to a mother’s concerns” and “dismissive”.

“In my recent fourth pregnancy, I was still being looked at like I didn’t know what I was talking about, even after I had proven experience in the field! It sickens me!”

A photo posted by Ryan And Cass (@ryanandcass) on

For now, Cassie says she draws strength from her little boy, who guides her through her toughest days.

“A walk and fresh air blowing on my face was exactly what I needed this morning,” she wrote, adding: “So many dragonflies joined us on our walk. I know you are with us today I can feel you everywhere. It’s your fourth birthday tomorrow and your paddle out on Saturday.”

“I miss you deeply Dex. Every part of me wants to hold you and every inch of me wishes I had saved you. I’m sorry.”

If you or a loved one is grieving the loss of a baby before, during or shortly after birth, Mamamia urges you to visit this website.

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