Warning: This post deals with pregnancy loss and may be triggering for some readers.
American singer Carrie Underwood has shared that she has suffered three miscarriages in the last two years.
Speaking on CBS Sunday Morning, the 35-year-old former American Idol winner and country pop singer – whom, with hockey player husband Mike Fisher, 38, has son Isaiah, 3, and another baby on the way – explained that she had the first miscarriage last year.
“I’d kind of planned that 2017 was, you know, going to be the year that I work on new music, and I have a baby,” she said.
“We got pregnant early 2017, and didn’t work out.”
Underwood said the experience has made her rely on her faith more than ever.
“In the beginning, it was like, ‘Okay, God, we know this is, just wasn’t your timing. And that is all right. We will bounce back and figure our way through it.’”
When she suffered a second miscarriage in 2017, and a third in 2018, Underwood found herself losing hope; and frustration and disappointment set in.
“I had always been afraid to be angry,” she explained.
“Because we are so blessed. And my son, Isaiah, is the sweetest thing… And I’m like, ‘If we can never have any other kids, that’s okay, because he’s amazing.’ And I have this amazing life. I have an incredible husband, incredible friends, an incredible job, an incredible kid. Can I be mad? No.”
Underwood admitted that despite desperately not wanting to give in to anger, when she thought she might be suffering a fourth miscarriage, “I got mad”.
Questioning the point of why she could even get pregnant if another child was not meant to be, she asked herself and God:
“What is this? Shut the door… Either shut the door or let me have a kid. And for the first time, I feel like I actually I told God how I felt.”
The next week, the doctor confirmed Underwood was expecting again, and that “everything was great.”