celebrity

From a boob necklace to ignoring the dress code: Mamamia recaps the 2021 Cannes red carpet.

Hi, hello - the Cannes Film Festival is going down right now, and pls can we just stop for a real quick minute and discuss exactly WTF is happening on that red carpet. Cause it's... cooked.

You got people rocking up in some seriously OTT Met Gala s**t (insert Bella Hadid here), while others are going down the year 10 formal route with the old strapless dress, and the rest are literally wearing, like, a t-shirt and trainers (?).

To get an idea of what we're talking about here, please, won't you just take a look at The French Dispatch cast? They look like four people attending completely different events. 

And yes - the meme potential is absolutely glorious.

ADVERTISEMENT

Watch: Please just watch Jerry Seinfeld and Kesha talk to each other on the red carpet, because it's super UNCOMFY and you need to see it. Post continues below.


Video via Mamamia

So, friend. Take our hand as we walk through eight of the most excellent and WTF red carpet moments at the Cannes Film Festival.

Bella Hadid.

You're doing great, sweetie.

ADVERTISEMENT

This OTT gold necklace that Bella Hadid used to cover her bare boobs is very, very, very interesting indeed. Very interesting. 

It kind of looks like an upside down tree? Or is it supposed to represent lungs? The Great Barrier Reef? Maybe? Idk. Either way, her... um... nipple pasties are doing her a solid.

And yes, there's also some serious shoulder/arm padding action in this equation, and it makes zero sense to me.

EXTREME CONFUSION UP DOWN AND EVERYWHERE HERE.

Tilda Swinton.

Tilda, babe. U okay?

ADVERTISEMENT

SOMEONE CALL MUM, I'M SCARED.

I was totally down for Tilda's lil blue pant suit moment, but this... this is tew much 4 me. Like, it's cool, but it's giving me some mad superhero/X-Files vibes.

Her hair reminds me of this guy from The Incredibles:

Same, same

And the shirt... there's just so much material. The whole outfit makes me think of this for some reason:

Tilda, come back!

ADVERTISEMENT

Timothee Chalamet.

It's the boots for me.

THIS. This is what I mean by confusing red carpet rules. 

Timothee, sweetie - I don't blame you for thinking it was okay to wear what you wore to a punk club last night, because NO ONE HAS A F**KING CLUE WHAT THE GO IS.

The heavy-duty military boots! The distressed t-shirt! The watercolour paint stains!

Bill Murray.

Please note the second watch for JUST IN CASE.

ADVERTISEMENT

Dad, is that... you? 

Bill Murray is every 60-something year old male on holiday. And he knows it. And he cares not.

He wore a pair of baby blue shorts, trainers that are made for *actual* running, and a Hawaiian shirt made up of two different prints, because holiday.

You'll also notice he's wearing not one, but two watches.

Jodie Turner-Smith.

Who did this to you

Jodie Turner Smith had a whole heap of stunning, show-stopping looks at this year’s Cannes - but this canary yellow number just ain't it. 

ADVERTISEMENT

It looks like someone has legitimately murdered Big Bird and made Jodie parade him around as some kind of cruel, deranged joke. 

See the feathers strewn all over the carpet? CAN YOU SEE THEM?

Charlotte Gainsbourg.

Jusssst enough denim

Charlotte Gainsbourg wore a Canadian tuxedo to her photo call, and I have so many questions - but I'll hit you with the most pressing one.

The belt. Why? I know exactly nothing about fashion, but what I do want to know is what stylist is saying "yep, let’s pull it all together with a brown belt and black shoes pls." 

Maggie Gyllenhaal.

When you got work at 9, but trick-or-treating at 7.

ADVERTISEMENT

Okay. This is a weird combo for me. 

It's like Halloween bride of death down the bottom, business up top? I feel uncomfy looking at it.

Shouldn't the shirt be tucked in or something? CAN SOMEONE PLS TUCK IN HER SHIRT?

Josh O'Connor.

No

I'm unsure who you are Josh, but I'm quite sure that you are old enough to wear a real life vest if you wanted to - and I can tell by your wry smile that you know this to be a fact. 

Please, someone get this man some grown-up clothes.

Feature image: Getty/Mamamia

What was your favourite Cannes red carpet look? Share with us in the comment section below.