Mother’s Day in Australia. It’s not a public holiday. Unsurprisingly.
Even if it was, once you become a mother you never get a day off, ever. We should just call it for what it is: Sunday.
Watch: Things mums never hear on Mother's Day. Post continues below.
A day where thinly veiled messages of thanks and deep appreciation come at you thick and fast; where companies pretend to care about mothers in an attempt to increase their profit margins.
And then there are the dad-gathered gifts. Usually sh*tty ones. That none of us want.
Like ugly coloured sleeping masks, a never-going-to-be-used tube of hand cream, bath salts – all panic bought from the overpriced section at the chemist on the Saturday night.
If you’re lucky, the florist will still be open, and you’ll get flowers. Which I’ve never got the point of, since they will live in a vase of water that turns swampy and you'll end up being the one who has to chuck them out, anyway.
If it’s left to the kids, we'll be presented with brightly coloured necklaces handmade out of pasta and string. Thank you, teachers. Nothing can compare.