"I've found an outfit for a friend's engagement party, but there's an issue."

WHY DID NO ONE TEACH ME BASIC SOCIAL RULES.

Sorry.

I’ll start at the beginning.

Today is Thursday. One of my best friends (let’s call her… Shelley) is having her engagement party on Saturday, and yes, I’ve known about it for months, and no, I hadn’t thought about what to wear until today.

So I did some online shopping, found a white dress I liked, and ordered it.

Problem solved, right?

Narrator: The problem was not solved. It was only just beginning.

LISTEN: Is it ever okay to ask for a certain amount in a wishing well? Post continues after audio.

I casually described to a friend the dress I’d ordered, and watched as her face screwed up into a look of utter disgust.

‘What?’ I asked, wondering whether I’d only put eyebrow pencil on one eyebrow (again) and was therefore confusing her with my… face.

‘You ordered a white dress to wear to Shelley’s engagement party?’ she asked, in a way that implied that a) she knew that’s what I’d done, because I’d just told her, and b) she was judging me for it.

‘Yes,’ I responded, racking my brain for what life rule I’d completely missed this time.

She explained that to start with, you never, ever wear white to an engagement party, and second, the bride is wearing white on Saturday so can I just… not.

Oh. 

I did not know these were the rules. So, obviously, I did what any self-respecting adult would do in this situation.

I googled it.

Google seemed to say it's not a rule, per se, but to generally, maybe, steer clear, which isn't particularly helpful.

Then I deep-dived into some forums where people had asked for advice about the same issues, and got more mixed responses.

Some people said you can wear a bit of white, but not anything that's completely white, whereas others said it's not nearly as big a deal as wearing white to a wedding.

But. For. Goodness. Sake.

Can someone just straight up tell me whether I'm going to turn up on Saturday looking like an absolute nob?