I have a friend, let’s call her Jane, who recently told me she dobbed her 11-year-old son into the cops.
We were the last ones standing after a catch up with some other school mums, and after ordering a round of espresso martinis it was confession time.
I confessed I’d actually been watering down my drinks all night because I’m a diabetic; and Jane confessed her 11-year-old son had been hitting her.
Now, I know this kid, Scott*; he’s very tall, and strong, and a total angel for his mum, who happens to be a sole parent. I know Jane has been very proud of him as the eldest child and a wonderful big brother. When she noticed her usually even-tempered kid had recently become prone to temper tantrums, Jane had put this down to normal pre-teen frustrations with friendship groups, schoolwork, and a need for independence.
But then, this gentle giant started to lash out at his mum. The first time was in the midst of an argument about homework before television. Scott punched his mum’s arm with such a force that her unsuspecting body almost lost its balance.
Listen: Mia Freedman talked to the incredible Rosie Batty about domestic violence. (Post continues after audio.)
Naturally, there was a ‘no television’ ban placed immediately, as well as a suspension of pocket money. Scott was mortified by his loss of control, and there were tears from both mum and son, with promises to never let it happen again.
Yet deep down, Jane began to truly worry; her instincts told her not to dismiss this as an isolated incident.
Top Comments
I think this is awesome.
I am calling bullshit. Errands?..... Wth . A nice sergeant giving a long lesson on violence. Mum should of taken him to a juvenile justice team or psychologist to deal with his anger and a medical doctor to make sure there wasn't some real reason for his sudden mood change. Parents do not take their kids to police stations for this. The police has barely enough resources to answer calls for help. My advice is reach out for help with agencies or professionals that are trained to change childrens behaviour not the police unless you are reporting an assault.
I know a mum who did something similar to this, actually, when her son was being uncontrollably violent. It helped. If it kept going on, I would agree to send a kid to counseling, but sometimes kids just need a reality check and a realisation that their actions can hurt someone. A police officer can do this just fine.
Not the same as this but I have taken my kids to the police station when I realised that, when I was telling them to "find a policeman if you're lost" they actually didn't know what one looked like! (Small country town). The desk sergeant was lovely and took the time to talk to my kids, get down on their level, and even walked outside with them so they could get their bearings and knew where the police station was in relation to their school. So yes I could see this happening. It's called community policing.
The mother did try counselling first, through the school. It didn't work.
I went to report a car accident and one of other the police officers in the station took the time to chat to my daughters and found them each a Constable Care pack.
Another time I got pulled over for speeding. And when the cop came back from writing my ticket I'd told him I just had a conversation with my children about how driving is a not a right, its a responsibility, and I had done the wrong thing even if it was by accident. He took a few seconds to back me up and told them I had to buy them a McDonald's 50c cone as penance.
Policing is about interacting with the community too, and I am pretty sure that the people who often have to pick up the pieces want to stop it from happening in the first place.