Approximately a month before the birth of my first child I ran through a mental check list and concluded that I had prepared myself as best as possible for the labour.
My hospital bag was packed.
The antenatal course run by the hospital was complete.
I had read “Birthing Skills” by Juju Sundin cover to cover and even tabbed the most relevant pages.
Hubby had been provided with a list of things to do/not to do during the labour to avoid pissing me off (which if followed would ensure his balls remained in tact).
More on the subject: “My first ever brazilian wax.”
With the essential preparation out of the way I then turned my mind to considering what sort of downstairs ‘hairstyle’ might be appropriate for the occasion.
Clearly, I had far too much time on my hands as I agonised over the decision.
While prior to my pregnancy I had more or less kept in regular contact with my beauty therapist and maintained a full Brazilian wax, I had lost the motivation to continue with this maintenance through the second part of my pregnancy (particularly given my husband would not touch me with his 10 foot pole for fear of hurting the baby) and so was at that point sporting a far more 1970’s ‘au naturel’ look in my nether regions.
For even more Brazilians: This is for any woman who has ever had her love cave waxed for a man.
I considered my options. A Brazilian wax would leave the area smooth and clean and give any observers a better visual of the baby’s head coming out. Still – I felt that it was slightly too ‘porno’ for the nature of the occasion and might look to my obstetrician like I was trying too hard.
Leaving the 1970’s bush in tact was out of the question – aside from the fact that I would feel utterly embarrassed by the medical staff being first hand observers to my lack of fanny maintenance I also felt that it was unfair for the baby’s first entrance into the world to be head first through the jabiru’s nest in my undies.