Former Cosmopolitan Editor and mother of three Bronwyn McCahon has revealed that she struggled to conceive her first baby.
In an interview with the lifestyle website Show and Tell, McCahon shared that after six months of trying to fall pregnant, she miscarried at just eight weeks.
After “completely changing her life” to prepare for welcoming a baby into her home, losing the baby was a real shock for McCahon.
“You have to start again and [you think] what if? And why?” McCahon said. “[It’s] hard because you think ‘I was on the road to something.'”
“You have a due date and you have plans in place and you start to get excited and you talk about names and how life will change.”
McCahon said that her colleagues at Cosmopolitan magazine were very supportive at this difficult time.
“It’s amazing, having worked in an office of all women for almost 16 years we speak about this stuff all the time,” McCahon said. “It’s a really unique office in that sense that nothing is off limits, I look at what I’ve been through with my staff an we’ve been through divorces, pregnancies, miscarriages, abortions, news love and all of that.”
“We talk about it so openly [and] we know each other so intimately.”
“It’s just like an open forum.”
McCahon is grateful that she felt comfortable talking about miscarriage because she believes that conversation between big issues between women is “so important.”
Watch Bronwyn McCahon talk about her struggle to fall pregnant. Post continues after video…
“Some women feel like a bit of a failure if they’ve had a miscarriage or there’s something wrong with them, but it’s so common,” McCahon said.
Following the miscarriage, McCahon and her husband Phil continued to try with a baby for a full year. She admits that sex with her husband during this time was not always fun.
“I was gonna punch people in the face if they told me to relax and stop thinking about it and make it romantic,” McCahon said. “Having sex when you’re trying for a baby and you’ve been trying for a while is so not sexy or romantic.”
“It’s ‘Quick! My cervical mucus tells me I’m ovulating and I’ve spat on this and peed on that.'”
Like many women who struggle with fertility McCahon felt like everyone was falling pregnant but her.
“It’s like that thing when you’re going to buy a car and you decide ‘oh I’m going to buy a red Aldi’ and then you go outside and see red Audis everywhere,” McCahon said. “Lift doors would open and four pregnant women would walk out at me.”
“Or I’d go outside and all these pregnant women would be pushing prams and I’d be like ‘selfish! You’ve already got one in the pram and you’ve got one in your tummy! Selfish! I can’t even get one [baby]!'”
McCahon signed-up for IVF, but the universe had other plans. Just before her first IVF appointment, she fell pregnant with her daughter Harper.
“[When] you’re trying and it’s like watching the kettle boil,” McCahon said. “The minute [I] kind of almost [gave up] and [decided] I’m gonna take it out of my hands and we’re gonna go to go to IVF and that’s just the path we’re gonna take and it was almost [like] I relaxed.”
“Maybe that month we weren’t having we-must-fall-pregnant sex.”
McCahon said that her fertility issues taught her a lot about patience and gratitude.
“I now have three beautiful, healthy children and I had a small struggle but that’s nothing compared to what a lot of women go through but it was still a really big moment for me and it was still really hard,” McCahon said.