The Bridgerton family, ranked.

Not all Bridgertons are created equal.

They're all wealthy, titled and good-looking, sure. And Lady Violet Bridgerton and her eight children are the envy of everyone in the 'ton'.

The "perfectly handsome" and "perfectly beautiful" Bridgerton kids - Anthony, Benedict, Colin, Daphne, Eloise, Francesca, Gregory, and Hyacinth - are named in alphabetical order (which, on reflection, is quite weird), enjoy incredible wealth and are full of brooding, unchecked privilege.

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But throughout the first season of Shonda Rhimes' Netflix adaptation, many of the siblings deal with typically 'wealthy regency family' problems of forbidden love, overwhelming expectation and more than a little ignorance of how... a lot of things work.

With eight siblings of varying degrees of problematic, there was only one logical thing to do: Rank them (plus their mama, of course). 

It took us three episodes to figure out the three eldest brothers were not in fact the same character - but thank God we did, because sweet Colin does not deserve to be lumped in with Anthony.

Here is the Bridgerton family, ranked from worst to best.

9. Anthony Bridgerton.

Image: Netflix.

Anthony is clearly struggling with being 'the man of the house' following the death of Daddy Bridgerton, at some undisclosed time before the series. 

For the first few episodes, Anthony is overbearingly protective of Daphne - then he tries to marry her off to an abuser. 

When that doesn't work out and Daphne falls for his best mate, he challenges him to a duel. The toxicity!

Anthony is moody, entitled and judgemental. He always expects the rest of the family to follow the rules, while he himself refuses to marry and continues an affair with his mistress - whose feelings he's playing with by always reminding her they can't actually be together.

Anthony needs therapy, but idk if that existed in 1813, so instead he continues to sabotage not only his own life but that of his family too. 

8. Daphne Bridgerton.

Image: Netflix.

Daphne is the oldest Bridgerton daughter, the first to 'debut' and the main protagonist of Bridgerton season one.

She's poised and proper and quite skilled when she needs to be - remember that take down of Cressida Cowper in the modiste?

But her entire personality is centred around her need to find a husband. It's boring. 

Then when Daphne - whose sheltered upbringing meant she had literally no idea how the uh, 'birds and the bees' situation worked -  figured it all out, she crosses a line of consent and rapes her husband.

After a couple of days of anger, the Duke is suddenly fine with it and changes his mind about children. Daphne ends the series with everything she wanted, having faced zero consequence for her actions.

7. Francesca Bridgerton.

Image: Netflix.

After the first episode, Francesca just... disappears, only to return at the end of the series after spending the summer with an aunt in Bath.

She seems less enthusiastic about 'debuting' than Daphne, but not as cynical as Eloise and besides that, we know precisely nothing about her.

Sorry, Frankie.

6. Lady Bridgerton.

Image: Netflix.

VIOLET. YOU NEED TO TEACH YOUR DAUGHTERS ABOUT SEX. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. TELL THEM.

Lady Bridgerton is less intense than some of the other mothers in the ton, but she can afford to be on account of her last name.

She has her children's best interests in mind and maintains bonds with all of them - but she's still cunning. Before Daphne and Simon get themselves together, she plots with Lady Danbury to get them together.

Violet also holds onto hope that her kids will marry for love rather than convenience and is horrified when Anthony tries to marry Daphne off to Lord Berbrook. So that's nice.

But Violet, damn, you need to give your daughters some freaking clue.

5. Gregory Bridgerton.

Image: Netflix.

Gregory is the youngest of the Bridgerton sons and barely registers in season one, besides a few times he annoys Hyacinth. 

Anyway, he seems fine. There's not much else I can say about a 12-year-old boy.

4. Benedict Bridgerton.

Image: Netflix.

Benedict is the second eldest son, which means there's much less pressure and responsibility on him than Anthony.

He is a good friend to his siblings - especially Eloise who he relates to because they're both disillusioned by 'ton' life.

Benedict feels stifled by all the pomp and formality of it all and just wants to run away and be a free-spirited artist, ya know? 

So naturally, he experiments with a more ~unorthodox~ lifestyle after being introduced to a much more fun, less rigid side of London life.

The writers use him for some major queer-baiting before shacking him up with a woman - Madame Delacroix.

3. Hyacinth Bridgerton.

Image: Netflix.

Hyacinth is high-energy, curious and without any of the inhibition felt by her older sisters.

She'll mock her brothers and laugh in the faces of Lords, which is exactly the kind of energy we need more of to take down these entitled 1800s men.

2. Colin Bridgerton.

Image: Netflix.

Aw, Colin. So young, so naïve, so much less problematic than his older siblings.

When Cressida mocks Penelope and ruins her dress, Colin rejects her and dances with Penelope instead.

We're all #TeamPenelope, but Colin has his eyes firmly set on her cousin Marina Thompson for most of the season - though Marina is trying to dupe him into marrying her before her pregnancy becomes too obvious. 

When it all comes out, Colin is heartbroken but tells Marina he would've loved the child as his own if she'd only been honest with him

He then does what anyone with no money woes does after a breakup: parties on Greek islands.

Fingers crossed he 'finds himself' among the blue domes and Ouzo and comes back for Penelope.

1. Eloise Bridgerton.

Image: Netflix.

Obviously.

Eloise is headstrong, opinionated and intelligent. Just how they liked girls to be in 1813! 

But based on the first season, she's the only character (besides Queen Charlotte, tbh) who could hold their own with a spin-off series. 

All of Eloise's questions and her distrust of the whole process is inherently feminist: she wants nothing to do with the debut debacle her sister and mother went through and she's not afraid to voice a controversial opinion.

We have no choice but to stan.

The first season of Bridgerton is streaming on Netflix now. 

Feature image: Netflix.